‎‎（穆尔克罗夫特 怀俄明州 1947年）
上周，飞侠哥顿 Last week, Flash Gordon
保卫女巫之王阿苏拉 defended the Witch Queen Azura
来自死亡侏儒的袭击 from the attack of the Death dwarfs.
保罗，在宣告他自己成为蓝色魔法大地的国王后 Paul, having proclaimed himself King of Blue Magic Land
将军队的指挥权交给了猎鹰侠约翰… offered John the Hawkman the command of the army...
去吧，保罗 Go on, then, Paul.
不要太久 Don't be long.
保罗？ Paul?
保罗 Paul.
‎‎（加利福尼亚州 圣地亚哥）
‎‎（动漫展）
他朝我使眼色！他朝我使眼色！ He winked at me! He winked at me!
黑色信箱（地名 UFO观测点测点）雷切尔 内华达州
‎‎（51区，闲人免进）
我爱这个地方 I love it here.
那感觉非常 You know, it feels so...
- 对味 - 是啊 - Right. - Yeah.
我们离家有5339英里 We're 5,339 miles from home
却让我有某种归属感 and yet, somehow, I feel like we belong.
我理解你的意思 I know what you mean.
这也许是我玩得最开心的一次了 I think this is probably the most fun I have ever had.
这次来得非常值，克莱夫 I'm so glad we came, Clive.
克莱夫？ Clive?
- 可以吗？ - 别客气 - May I? - Be my guest.
- 谢谢你 - 我就在那儿，独自一人 - Thank you. - I was over there, on my own.
那儿是暗黑吸血鬼 That there is the Black Vampire.
小心 Watch out.
她会咬人 She bites.
多少钱？ How much?
1349.99美元 $1,349.99.
你要买下它吗？ Aren't you gonna get it?
有道理 Fair enough.
真不敢相信要见到亚当·谢都切尔德了 I can't believe we're gonna meet Adam Shadowchild.
是啊 他这个世界上最酷的男人 I know. He's, like, the coolest man in the world.
谢谢 Thank you.
下一位 欢迎你，朋友们 Come forth. Welcome, my friends.
我要说《星球坠落》三部曲有着巨大的影响力 I just wanted to say that the Planet Fall trilogy has been a huge influence
对于我以及我的工作来说 on me and on my work.
不要告诉我，你是一位作家 Don't tell me. You're a writer.
- 我是的 - 那好吧 - I am, yeah. - Well, good.
实际上他在1992年获得了星云奖 He actually won a Nebulon Award in 1992.
获得16岁以下最佳短篇科幻小说奖 For best science fiction short story by a male under 16.
我致力于后续随访工作 I'm working on a follow-up.
我倒是很想看到 Oh, I'd love to see that.
不是今天 Not today.
不不，当然没问题 No, no. It's a legal thing.
我肯定这一定不错 I'm sure it's good.
这封面真不错 三个咪咪 That is a wonderful cover. Three tits.
真不错 Awesome.
- 这是格雷姆 他是我插图作者 - 我是一位艺术家 - That was Graeme, my illustrator. - I'm an artist.
我希望尽快完成它 I'm hoping to complete it soon.
在结尾地方有点小麻烦 I'm just having a bit of trouble with the ending.
嗯，一位智者说过 Well, a wise man said,
“在你编制美妙的梦想之前你应该学会纺纱” "You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream. "
谁说的？ Who said that?
我说的 我刚刚说过的 I did. I just said that.
伙计们请让一下后面 Move along, please, guys.
是的 Yes.
- 见到你很高兴 - 不，不… - Very nice to meet you. - No, no...
谢谢 Thank you.
- 你买书了么？ - 没有 - You bought a book? - No.
那滚远点 Then fuck off.
让我们和亚当照张相吧 Let's get a picture of you, me and Adam.
- 好的 准备 - 准备 - Okay, ready. - Ready.
好了（外星接触简介） Yes.
是的 Yes.
- 是租房车的？ - 是的 - Is that the RV place? - Yes.
当然应该有两张单人床？ And there's definitely two single beds?
本来就差不多像个小旅馆 Because there's been a bit of a mix-up at the hotel.
好的，好极了，非常感谢 Okay. Excellent. Thank you very much.
也祝你玩得愉快 And have a nice day to you, as well.
- 车到了？ - 现在就在停车位 - Is it here? - It's in the car park.
你是说“停车场”吧 I think you mean "the parking lot."
我就那意思 I sure do.
我们两个感觉真像美国人了 I did my American voice.
这太棒了不是么？ 我们真来这里了 美国 It's amazing, isn't it? We're actually here. America.
哈？ Huh?
我们梦想这个事情多久了？ How long have we dreamt about this?
- 在我们还是小孩的时候 - 是啊 - Since we were kids. - Yeah.
现在 看看我们俩 已经是大人了 Now look at us. Grown men.
披萨！ Pizza!
- 晚上好 先生 - 进来吧 - Good evening, sir. - Come on in.
- 我该把这个放哪里？ - 把这个放床上吧 - Where can I set this down? - You could put it on the bed.
两位在度蜜月吧？ You guys on honeymoon?
不 No.
不，我们只是好朋友 No, silly. We're just friends.
有点乱了，貌似预订的时候有点小误会了 We had a mix-up. The reservations were messed up.
就放在这儿的桌子上，让我收拾下 Pop it on the table here. Let me clear that.
- 是在沿着公路旅行么？ - 是的 - Ah, going on a road trip? - Yeah. Yes.
有件比去动漫节更爽的事 What better way to follow Comic-Con
就是去美国最有名的UFO事件多发地 than a tour of America's most famous UFO hotspots?
啊？ Huh?
我们要先去51区和内华达州的黑色信箱 We're going to Area 51 and the Black Mailbox in Nevada,
然后再从坎普贝尔德向南，再到阿帕奇族区 then down to Camp Verde, then to Apache Junction
再到罗斯韦尔，新墨西哥 然后再到著名的47景区 and then on down to Roswell, New Mexico for the site of the famous crash of '47.
- 不 - 你说的谁都知道 - No. - Everybody knows that.
闭嘴！这是这儿的推荐观测点 Stop it! It's an alleged site at this point.
他们干嘛要跳出来承认呢？ Why would they admit there was a crash,
但是如果坠毁发生在别的地方 if the crash happened somewhere else?
我们还是保留意见，好吗？ Let's just agree to disagree, all right?
那就是我们为什么说的 That's what we always say at the end.
你相信有外星人么？ Do you believe in aliens?
啥意思 “外星人”？ What do you mean, "aliens"?
我去买单，好吗？ I'll sign that check, shall I?
把这个丢了 地图上批萨油脂不好 Get that out of your way. Pizza grease on a map is the worst thing.
应该睡觉了 明早我们还要早起 We should turn in. We got an early start in the morning.
是啊 Yeah.
你认为你会梦到什么？ What do you think you're gonna dream about?
在高速公路上，高度的冒险，就是那种事情了 Oh, the open road. High adventure. That kind of thing.
- 你呢？ - 美丽的女人 - You? - Wonder Woman.
- 别说了 - 好吧 - Please don't. - Okay.
- 准备好了？ - 是的 - You ready? - Yeah.
好的… Okay. And...
三、二、一 Three, two, one.
多么神奇的动漫 What an amazing Con.
朋友们，那才是刚开始呢 That, my friend, was just the beginning.
就是这样 Here you go.
那不是我们的 That's not ours.
不是？ No?
不 是我们的 No. That's ours.
该死的半兽人！ Fucking orcs!
‎‎（巴斯克斯岩石 加利福尼亚州）
那个 That one.
啊！人类！ Oh! People!
‎‎（51区内达华州）
笑一个 Smile.
是“有飞碟”还是“车上有外星人”？ "Watch the skies" or "Alien on board"?
“车上有外星人” 谢谢 "Alien on board," please.
好的 如果你确定的话 Okay. If you're sure.
那么，动漫展感觉如何？ So, how was Comic-Con?
我们遇到了亚当·谢都切尔德 We met Adam Shadowchild.
亚当·谢都切尔德到底是谁？ Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
噢 就是写了《金星再生》的作者 Oh, he wrote The Venusian Pangenesis.
我可没读过这本书 I didn't read that one.
《明星胡椒简尼》和《超级黄铜女》呢？ Jenny Starpepper and the Great Brass Hen?
没有 No.
《机械女人国》呢？ The Robot's Mistress?
我喜欢浪漫点的 I like romances.
那就是带点浪漫的啊 That's kind of a romance.
- 一个女人和一台机器？ - 是的 - Between a woman and a machine? - Yeah.
我听见了 I hear that.
你们在这周围找到一些UFO什么的吗？ Do you get a lot of UFO types around here?
一些 Some.
你相信吗？ Do you believe?
是的，我相信 Oh, yes, I do.
在这些地方已经出现过许多奇怪的事情 Been a lot of strange happenings in these parts.
如果我们是宇宙仅有的智慧生物那才是令人遗憾呢 Ah, it'd be a shame if we were the only souls in the universe.
也许将不会孤独了 Probability alone suggests not.
在可观察到的宇宙中有200亿个星系 You know, there are 200 billion galaxies in the observable universe.
你自己想，是不是？ Makes you think, doesn't it?
什么？ What?
所有人在哪里？ Where is everybody?
明白了 Gotcha.
你们是坐下还是我给你们拿点吃的？ So, you fellows set or can I get you something else?
我要再倒满一大杯咖啡，谢谢你，派特 Oh, I think I would like a refill of coffee, please, Pat.
好的，那么你要什么，小南瓜？ All right, then. How about you, pumpkin?
给我来个外星人麦芽酒好吗？ Can I have an E.T. Malt, please?
你要加点烟火在上面吗？ You want that with a sparkler?
是的 Yeah.
我觉得应该是的 I will take that as a yes.
我想去厕所 I think I might do a toilet.
相当有趣 Pretty funny.
“男外星人”
他当时就坐在公牛背上 He's sitting right there on top of that bull,
然后他开始，“库-库-库斯” and he goes, " Cut her loose. "
什么？ What?
我不认识你 I don't know you.
动漫 Comics.
那是什么？ What was that about?
你觉得我现在什么感觉？ How you think that makes me feel?
对我不礼貌？ Be rude to me?
鸡蛋 Eggy,
一个外星人就坐在我的手掌心里 an alien just sicked up in my palms.
克莱夫… Clive...
什么？ What?
- 我开玩笑的 - 别说了 - I'm joking. - Stop it.
那里有一块肥皂长就像是外星人的头 真是太有才了！ They've got a soap dispenser in there shaped like an alien's head. It's brilliant!
- 有人来了 - 什么？ - Someone's here. - What?
走过来了！ Here it comes!
什么… What in...
伙计们！今天怎么样啊？ Hey, fellas! How you doing today?
这什么地方啊，基佬酒吧？ What is this, some kind of gay bar?
不 或许你们还能弄点吃的 No. Just a place where you can get a bite to eat
并且分享各自的小故事 and maybe share a close encounter.
好了 这听起来就是个基佬吧 Yeah. It sounds like a gay bar.
哦，不 我们只是好朋友 Oh, no, we're just friends.
那么，你们两个看起来是要来几瓶啤酒吧 So, you guys look like you could do with a couple beers.
那就来点啤酒 You go do that.
好，就要啤酒 All right. You do that.
好 Yes.
小口喝 Get a sip. I'll get this.
走了，走了 Just leave it.
非常感谢 Thank you very much.
你干嘛？ What are you doing?
你还敢古里古怪的盯着我看 Don't you put those queer eyes on me.
我忘了拿贴纸而已！ I'm not. I forgot the sticker.
怎么这么慢啊？ What took you so long?
我把贴纸贴上去 I was putting the sticker on.
他们不是善类 对吧？ They were an odd pair, weren't they?
是的，跟我们完全不是一类人 Yeah, definitely not my kind of people.
但愿我们不要再碰到他们 I doubt very much we'll be seeing them again.
噢！ Oh!
- 该不会是他们的车吧？ - 不 - That wasn't their truck, was it? - No.
- 不要下去看看？ - 不要！ - Should I go and have a look? - No!
‎‎（外星人高速公路）
黑色邮箱（地名） The Black Mailbox.
哇！ Wow!
这是我见过最酷的事情 This is probably the coolest thing I've ever seen.
你还记得当时我们在你妈妈的电脑里用谷歌搜索 Do you remember when we Googled it on your mum's computer
然后电话铃响了 你以为那是FBI吗？ and the phone rang and you thought it was the FBl?
我没真的以为那是FBI I didn't really think it was the FBl.
- 你都吓哭了 - 我有时差反应 - You started crying. - I had jet lag.
你还没去过布鲁塞尔 We'd only been to Brussels.
过去站好 Go stand next to it.
笑一个 Smile.
如果我们突然间遇上一架宇宙飞船 Hey, imagine if we got buzzed by a craft.
会很刺激吧，不是么？ That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
飞船朝我们盘旋 It just hovers over us
然后我们口袋里所有的硬币变有磁性了，我们被晒伤了 and then all the coins in our pockets go magnetic, and then we get sunburned.
然后飞船迅速飞走了 Then it just goes up really quickly.
笑个！ Smile!
如果他们真的在地球着陆了 你会怎么做？ What would you do if they actually landed?
首次接触可是责任重大，是不是？ Well, first contact is a big responsibility, isn't it?
他们为和平而来，结果我们被吓傻了 They come in peace, we go to pieces?
我才不想那样 That's not how I roll.
不 No.
那是什么？ What's that?
不会是刚刚那俩人么？ Do you think that's those men?
不会吧 No.
这儿玩的也差不多了 We've seen enough.
我们走吧 Let's go.
快，快，走！ Go, go, go!
他们加速接近了 Oh, they're gaining.
有点像《激流四勇士》！ This is like Deliverance!
那个先把你手臂砍了再强奸你的家伙？ They're going to rape us and break our arms!
我可不想断手断脚的！ I don't want my arms broken!
- 我想上厕所了 - 你刚去过！ - I need the toilet. - You've just been!
跟你说了我少儿膀胱炎 You know I've got a child's bladder.
别让他们超上来！ Don't let them get past!
- 那你要我咋办？撞他们啊？ - 那租车的押金怎么办？ - What do you want me to do, ram them? - What about the deposit?
不是他们！不是他们！ It's not them! It's not them!
噢，我的上帝 Oh, my God.
太可怕了！ That was awful!
太恐怖了！ That was terrifying!
哈喽？ Hello?
你还是打电话找人来吧 Maybe you should call for help.
通了 It's ringing.
我劝你最好别这么做 I wouldn't do that if I were you.
把电话放下 Put the phone down.
呃，我靠 Oh, fuck me.
- 你对他做了什么？ - 我没做任何事，他自己昏倒了 - What have you done to him? - I didn't do anything to him. He fainted.
是你让他昏倒的！ Yeah, but you made him faint!
是的 但这和我拿光枪把他打晕两码事 Yes. But it's not like I set my phaser to "Faint."
你有光枪？ You've got a phaser?
不 我没有… 听着！听我说 No, I don't... Look! Listen.
我真的需要你们的帮助 好吗？ Hey, I really need your help, okay?
我们能先把这家伙抬进你们里么？ Can we get this guy back onto your wagon?
你是外星人！ Are you an alien?
对于你们来说 我是的 To you, I am, yes.
你准备在我们肛门里放探测器吗？ Are you gonna probe us?
为什么你们每个人都这想法？ Why does everyone always assume that?
我干嘛？专门收集你们放的屁啊？研究你们的屁股我会有啥成就？ What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?
什么？ What?
不好意思，你叫什么？ I'm sorry. What's your name?
格雷姆·威廉 It's Graeme Willy.
他的名字呢？ And what's his name?
恩，他是个作家 克莱夫·戈灵 That's the writer, Clive Gollings.
噢，酷！我叫保罗 Okay, cool! I'm Paul.
保罗？ Paul?
是的 这是个昵称，那玩意卡住了 Yeah. It's a nickname that stuck.
然后飞船就坠毁还有条狗 无所谓了！ My ship crashed on a dog. It doesn't matter!
听着！你能不能把他，克莱夫·戈里，抬进车里 Look! Can we get the writer, Clive Gollings, back on the RV
然后再离开这个鬼地方？ and get the hell out of here, please?
- 我没法… - 我现在是一大堆麻烦缠身 - I can't... - I'm in a hell of a pickle,
如果你不帮我，搞不好我今晚就死在这里了 and if you don't help me, I could die on this road tonight.
我不知道，我们很忙的 I don't know. We're on quite a tight schedule.
听着 伙计，有时候生活不必要循规蹈矩的 Look, man. Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
你说呢？ What do you say?
- 好 - 很好，相当好！ - Okay. - Okay! Perfect! Great!
好的 一起来 抓紧他 Okay, help me grab him.
这家伙尿裤子了 This man has peed his pants.
呃，他有少儿膀胱炎 Yeah, he's got a child's bladder.
噢，好极了 Oh, fantastic.
这个玩意还能再快点么？ Doesn't this thing go any faster?
那个，对不起，这里限速是70，那么… Well, I'm sorry, the speed limit is 70, so...
去他妹的限速！我是说 不，呃 不去他妹的 Screw the speed limit! Actually, no. Ooh, yeah. Don't screw it.
这样也挺好是吧？保持冷静 就这样也挺好 That's good thinking. Okay? Stay inconspicuous. That's good.
为什么我能听懂你的话？ How come I can understand you?
你有用什么语言翻译器么？ Are you using some sort of neural language router?
事实上，我就是在说英语，你个白痴！ Actually, I'm speaking English, you fucking idiot.
- 那不好 - 就是那个意思 - That's not nice. - That was mean.
听着，我有点紧张 我正处于一场交通事故当中 Look, I'm little tense. I was just involved in a major car crash.
那是你的错 That was your fault.
我够不着踏板 我的腿太短了 I can't reach the pedals. My legs are too little.
我必须得踩刹车了，好吗？ I had to use the parking brake, okay?
对不起 你现在处于慌乱中 I'm sorry. You're in shock right now.
我理解这经历对你来说很诡异 I understand this must be very weird for you.
你只需保持正常然后向北开就行了 好么？ Just act normal and drive north, okay?
我们必须尽可能的远离那个大家伙 We gotta get as much distance as we can between us and the Big Guy.
佐伊尔？什么状况？ Zoil? What's happening?
- 他跑了 - 该死！ - He's gone. - Shit!
看起来搭上了另外一辆顺风车 妈的！ Looks like he hitched a ride, too.
- 什么意思？ - 轮胎轨迹 - What do you mean? - Tire tracks.
那混蛋劫持了个当地人？ Bastard jacked a native?
有这可能… Could be two.
你不觉得有点太巧了么？ Don't you think this is all a bit of a coincidence?
你有什么高见么？ Are you suggesting he knew?
这个小混蛋可能已经找到回家的方法了 Little fucker might have phoned home.
搞不好还有一组救援队正在行动了 There might even be a rescue party on the way.
佐伊尔，我们需要准备大家伙了 Zoil, we need to break out the big guns.
你觉得有必要这样么？我们最不想要发生的事情就是 Do you think that that's wise? The last thing we need is
太激动 a hoo-ha.
也许你是对的 Maybe you're right.
听着，我有两个在执行特殊任务的新手，在你北面75公里处 Listen, I got two rookies on a special mission 75 clicks north of you.
我让他们设个路障 I'll have them set up a roadblock.
这些都是新手，为什么不让我做？ These are just civilians. Why don't you let me take care of it?
那你就恐怕得会分身术了 You might need the extra muscle.
尽量别让人察觉 我不想出任何意外 Just keep them in the dark. I don't want any loose ends.
晚上公路上很不安全 These roads can be treacherous at night.
发生什么交通事故是再平常不过的了 People get into accidents all the time.
我喜欢你的想法 就这样去做吧 I like your thinking. Get it done.
注意 我刚接到新的任务 Heads up. We just got reassigned.
好极了 Nice.
那这些三明治怎么办？ What about the sandwich?
- 她说我们带着路上吃 - 我超爱这份工作 - She said we can share it. - Oh, I love this job.
伙计，我需要那个 Man, I needed that.
我喜欢开心果 I love pistachios.
我讨厌拿到那种不开口的，是吧？ I hate it when you get a closed one, right?
我通常都是用嘴咬 I usually just bite them.
不，不应该用咬的！ No. You don't do that at all.
拍打它们，如果它们不自己打开，你就扔掉吧 You tap them, if they don't open on their own, you throw them away.
不是吧，你在说贝壳类吧 No, that's mussels.
不，我是说开心果… No, it's pistachios.
- 搞什么？ - 克莱夫，住手！你干什么？ - What the fuck? - Clive, stop it! What are you doing?
你在干什么？ What are you?
他不错，他很好，他相当友善 他叫保罗！ He's okay. He's fine. He's friendly. His name's Paul.
外星人不会叫“保罗” Aliens aren't called "Paul. "
是在说克林贡语吧？你个书呆子精神病！ Was that Klingon? You psychotic nerd!
保罗来自一个小的M级行星 Paul is from a small M-class planet
在仙女座星系的北部 in the northern spiral arm of the Andromeda Galaxy.
谢谢 Thank you.
他长得太外星了！ He looks too obvious.
这就是原因 克莱夫 There's a reason for that, Clive.
过去的60年里 人类一直将我的脸 Over the last 60 years the human race has been drip-fed images of my face
印在饭盒上，在T恤之类的垃圾上面 on lunchboxes and T-shirts and shit.
就是为了万一我们真碰面了，你不会他妈的亢奋过度！ It's in case our species do meet, you don't have a fucking spaz attack!
我不会亢奋过度！ I did not have a spaz attack!
- 别这样了！ - 该死的克莱夫 - Don't do it again! - That's my fucking jorph.
你他妈把手给我挪开！如果我因此受到什么感染 你就死定了！ Get your fucking fingers out of there! If I get a jorph infection, you're dead!
- 噢，我的上帝！ - 噢，该死！ - Oh, my God! - Oh, shit!
保罗 Paul.
保罗？ Paul?
好，好，这个可能就是的 那么，让我们又找什么来着？ Okay, okay. This could be it. So, what are we looking for, again?
我不知道 I don't know.
- 你们来美国有何贵干？ - 我们是来度假的 - What brings you to USA? - We're on holiday.
我们去了动漫展 We've been to Comic-Con.
动漫展？不要告诉奥利弗 Comic-Con? Don't tell O'Reilly.
他就喜欢那些狗屁东西 He loves that dweeb shit.
你们认识贝尼·希尔？ You guys know Benny Hill?
- 不 - 不 - No. - No.
噢 我的上帝，来看看这个！ Oh, my God! Look at this!
- 什么？ - 看看这个！ - What? - Look at this!
什么？ What?
这些家伙遇到了亚当·谢都切尔德 These guys have met Adam Shadowchild.
到底谁是亚当·谢都切尔德？ Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
就是写了《木星行动》的那个人 He wrote The Jupiter Praxis.
谁？ What?
《明星胡椒简尼》和《大白猿》？ Jenny Starpepper and the Huge White Gibbon?
啊？ Huh?
《飞蛾之夜》？ Night of the Moths?
你说的是英语么？你在说什么？ Are you speaking English? What are you talking about?
伟大！他怎样的一个人？ Brilliant! What was he like?
他有一点谨慎 He was a bit intense.
噢 他是个艺术家 Well, he's an artist.
让我来看看这个 这是什么 书呆子色情？ Let me see this. What is this, nerd porn?
- 噢不，那是克里夫… - 是我的小说 - No, that's Clive's... - It's my novel.
好的 Okay.
三个咪咪 真不错 Three tits. That's awesome.
你们应给她画四个 You guys should have given her four tits.
太变态了 That's just sick.
我说说而已 I was just saying.
你觉得怎么样？ Hey, do you think this is it?
太多了 你有找到其他什么东西么？ Doubtful. What else did you find in there?
不，没什么了 有条被尿湿了的牛仔裤 Not much. Just some pissy jeans.
- 噢，克莱夫的膀胱很小… - 住嘴 - Clive's got a child's... - Shut up.
抱歉 Sorry.
- 好的，你们可以走了 - 谢谢 - Okay. You guys can go. - Thank you.
我能拿回我的… 十分感谢 Can I have my... Thank you very much.
我能问下你们在找什么么？ May I ask what you're searching for?
不 No.
谢谢，走了，格雷姆 Thank you. Come on, Graeme.
真有一套啊 肮脏的哈里！ Way to go, Dirty Harry!
怎么样？ That was all right, right?
- 怎么样？简直太专业了，伙计 - 不错，是的 - All right? That was great energy, man. - Yeah. It was.
那真是… 不错… 它就像… 不是… That's it... Is right. It was like... Not...
- 我认为它没事 - 不，你考虑的太多了 - I thought it was okay. - No, you're thinking about it too much.
- 是不是？ - 天啊，他们在鞋子里震动 - You think so? - Oh, God. They were shaking in their boots.
我觉得很明显发生了些什么事情，是不是？ I think it's pretty obvious what happened there, isn't it?
是吗？ Is it?
政府搞些神经毒性的涂料刷在黑色信箱 The government used some kind of neurotoxic paint on the Black Mailbox.
弄出些关于外星人的幻觉 It caused us to suffer a shared hallucination about an alien.
明显是这样嘛 It makes complete sense.
错！ Wrong!
你小鸡鸡没了 Your dick is gone.
你蛋蛋没了 Your balls are gone.
噢，不！ Oh, no!
什么？ What?
变身了 你们看到我短裤了么？ Come on, grow up. You guys seen my shorts?
你是怎么做到的？你是怎么隐身的？ How did you do that? How did you go invisible?
噢，这是种伪装反映 Oh, it's a camouflage response.
恩，就像铁血战士？ What, like, Predator?
是的！不过我只能在屏气的时候做到这个 Exactly! Although I can only do it while I'm holding my breath.
你在任何时候都能做这个么？ But you can do it any time you want?
任何时候（学铁血战士的嘴巴） Any time.
像他这样 That's just like him.
整车人就我一个人疯了？ Am I the only sane person here?
额？ Eh?
你倒是适应的不错 你是只需要回到51区就行了 It's all right for you, isn't it? You'll go back to Area 51.
我们要吃官司了 因为我们窝藏了一个逃犯然后被送往关塔那摩湾！ We'll be arrested for harboring a fugitive and sent to Guantanamo Bay!
我还是去吃点甜甜圈喝点咖啡 Why don't I go make some bagels and coffee?
让你两单独聊会 Leave you two alone.
你是怎么了 克莱夫？ What's the matter, Clive?
现在有个外星人在我们车上泡咖啡和找甜甜圈 There is an alien in the kitchenette, making bagels and coffee.
- 你要茶？ - 不 我不要茶！ - Did you want tea? - No, I don't want tea!
是啊 因为喝茶在美国怪怪的 Right, because tea is weird in America.
他们会把面包屑 They leave the bag in.
格雷姆 奇怪的是我们给一个外星徒步旅行者搭顺风车 What's weird, Graeme, is the fact that we've picked up an extraterrestrial hitchhiker
而你却觉得这一切很正常！ and you seem completely fine with it!
甜甜圈和咖啡 Bagels and coffee
啊！ 酵母酱！ Ooh! Marmite!
他说他现在很危险 他需要我们的帮助 你知道么？ He said his life's in danger. He needs our help, you know?
有时候生活不必要循规蹈矩的 Sometimes, you've just gotta roll the dice.
假如我们一觉醒来发现他正拿探测器往我们的屁眼里插怎么办？ What if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into our anus?
明显不可能嘛 Apparently, they don't do that.
有谁想要来一个？ Anyone want one of these?
恩，谁要？谁？ Eh? Anyone? Anyone?
额？ Eh?
48，49，50 Forty-eight, 49, 50.
老子来了！管你准备好了没，你这狗娘养的 Coming! Ready or not, you son of a bitch.
- 还有个人在哪？ - 我不知道 长官 - Where's the other one? - I don't know, sir.
哈歌德！ Haggard!
对不起 我们只是在… Sorry, it's just, we were...
哈歌德！ Haggard!
妈的 Fuck.
好 Nice.
快过来 领导来了 Get over here. It's a guy with a badge.
我们只是在玩捉迷藏，因为我们现在比较空闲 We were just playing hide and seek, because we had a lot of time.
快点！ Hurry up!
我刚躲起来而已 I was hiding.
你们有看到什么车辆经过这里么？ You have any traffic through here?
没啥人 就见几个乡巴佬模样的，还有两个开着房车的白痴 No, just a couple of hillbilly types and two nerds in an RV.
书呆子？ Nerds, huh?
是啊，他们是从漫画展那过来的 他们还见到了亚当·谢都切尔德 Yes, they were coming from Comic-Con. They met Adam Shadowchild.
谁是亚当·谢都切尔德？ Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
他写了《监狱巨人 441》，知道不？ He wrote Prisonhulk Four-Forty-One, okay?
还有《明星胡椒简尼》和《喷虫》、《稀释天王星》 Jenny Starpepper and the Spitting Worm. Fluxing Uranus.
你们知道你们已经是成年人了吧？ You know you're a grown man, right?
你们应该还刮胡子，纳税，屌毛也长齐了吧？ Probably shave, pay taxes, have pubic hair?
以上都没错 All of those things.
- 你们搜查他们的车了么？ - 是的 ，长官 - Did you search that vehicle? - Yes, sir.
- 找到了些什么？ - 没什么， - What did you find? - Nothing much.
只有一本书 封面上有个绿色的女人还有三个咪咪 Just a book with a green woman with three titties.
咪咪 三个咪咪 Titties. Three titties.
三个咪咪，听起来很不错 Three tits. That's awesome.
喔，还有条尿湿的牛仔裤 Oh, and some pissy jeans.
- 那家伙自己尿湿了 - 别说了 - Guy pissed himself. - Close that.
估计是有些先天问题或者… I don't know if he had a pre-existing problem or...
听我说，你们两个弱智的混蛋 Listen to me, Frik and Fuck.
我要知道你们能想起来的关于那两个尿裤子书呆子的所有事情 懂吗？ I want everything you can remember about the pissy nerds, okay?
现在跟我走 We're leaving.
那这个路障这么办 长官？ What about the roadblock, sir?
没用了 It didn't work.
我们得拆下那些路障 它们坏掉了 We gotta take down that roadblock. It didn't work.
我就站在你的后面 I'm standing right next to you.
喂！ Hey!
巧克力豆！ Reese's Pieces! Yes!
谢谢啦 Thank you.
听说过了拉齐尔之后的那段路上有点状况 I heard there was a commotion on the road after Rachel.
奇怪了 我倒是没听说 Funny, I didn't hear nothing.
- 一定是那些孩子在搞鬼 - 是的 - It must have been the boys out at the base. - Yeah.
- 那有点多了，是不是？ - 什么？ - That's a bit much, isn't it? - What?
全放回去 Put it all back.
除了甜甜圈和巧克力奶油 Except the donuts and the chocolate milk.
还有墨西哥卷饼，奇多薯片和菲多利 And the burritos, Cheetos and Fritos.
- 那保罗的巧克力豆呢？ - 那你快点 - What about Paul's Reese's Pieces? - Just hurry up. Please.
不 你先好了 No, you go right ahead.
你确定？谢谢 谢谢 Are you sure? Thank you. Thank you.
- 外面那个家伙是你们的？ - 什么？ - That beast outside yours? - What?
- 什么家伙？ - 你们的房车？ - What do you mean "beast"? - Your RV?
这个…是的 这个房车是… Oh, the... Yes. The RV is...
不… 是的 No... Yes.
你们从哪来的？ Where are you boys from?
- 英格兰 - 英格兰 - England. - England.
我听说过英格兰 没有枪支泛滥的问题 I heard about England. No guns.
- 是的 不多 - 也不是 - Not many. - Not really.
就像你知道的，农场主 Just, you know, farmers.
那警察可以对任何人开枪咯？ How are police supposed to shoot anybody?
- 他们不会 - 他们尽量不那么做 - They don't. - They try not to.
15.58美元 That'll be $15.58.
20元 不用找了，剩下的给慈善机构或其他什么的 $20. Just keep the change, and give it to charity, or something.
你真了不起 格雷姆！ You did amazing, Graeme!
那警察一点都没有怀疑！ That cop didn't suspect a thing!
那个 克莱夫 And, Clive,
你也没尿裤子 you didn't pee your pants.
我并不是那种谨小慎微的人 但是你问了我们很多，对吧？ I don't mean to be a stick in the mud, but you are asking a lot of us, all right?
我们刚认识，我们不知道我们应该去哪，或者为什么… We've only just met, we don't know where we're going, or why.
你不认为你应该给我们一个合理的解释么？ You don't think we're due an explanation?
听着，你知道的越少越好 Look, the less you guys know, the better.
我要求你们有个合理的推诿 I want you to have plausible deniability.
我只能说我在那个基地里呆了很久，一直以为我是一位客人 Let's just say I spent a long time at that base thinking I was a guest.
但原来 Turns out
我只是个囚犯 I was a prisoner.
不过别担心 一切都在我掌… But don't worry. I got it all under...
妈的，这个东西让我吓了一大跳 Fuck, that made me jump.
可怜的小东西 Poor little thing!
是你也会撞到它 Nothing you could've done, mate.
你在干什么？ What you doing?
看着就好 Just watch.
这真是个奇迹！ It's a miracle!
我会想念他的 Man, I'm gonna miss these.
你干嘛啊？ Why would you do that?
我总不能吃一只死鸟吧？ I'm not going to eat a dead bird, am I?
我快要抓狂了 Going out of my mind
你们让我觉得我是在浪费时间 You got me thinking that I'm wasting my time
别让我失望 Don't bring me down
伙计们！ Come on, guys!
11点 12点！11点 12点！ 11:00, 12:00! 11:00, 12:00!
来吧！这很好玩！ Come on! It's fun!
如果你发挥想象力，这就是时光旅行 If you think about it, it's time travel.
11点钟，12点钟！ 11:00, 12:00!
是的，就是这样！ Yes! All right!
我看看，不，你就坐着别动 Let me see. No, just sit still.
你是不是还画过很多其他法国女孩 杰克？（泰坦尼克台词） You gonna draw me like one of your French girls, Jack?
我开玩笑的 对不起 I'm joking. I'm sorry.
别把我画太胖了，好么？地球引力会增加10磅的 Just don't make me look fat, okay? Earth's gravity adds 10 pounds.
保罗，我能问你个问题么？ Paul, could I ask you a question?
问吧！ Shoot!
你对人类干过那样的事情吗？ Have you ever done that to a person?
是的 我吃了很多人 Yes, I've eaten many people.
我开玩笑的 大块头 放松 I'm joking, big guy. Relax.
不，我是说，复活他们 No, I mean, fix them.
喔，不 没对死人干过那个 Oh. No. Not a dead person.
刚挂了的鸟？那是两码事 死的人？完全不一样 Recently dead bird? That's one thing. Dead person? Whole other ball game.
那对我来说真的很危险，那些伤害会反弹到我身上… It's actually really dangerous for me. The damage can bounce back onto me and...
对不起，我让你感到无聊了么？我以前说过这些了？ Oh, I'm sorry. Am I boring you? Have you heard this one before?
你累了吗，肥肠？ Are you tired, Sausage?
别在他面前叫我这个！ Don't call me that in front of him.
那你累了吗？ Are you tired, though?
伙计，我不行了！ Eggy, I'm bushed.
我说 我们都很累了 You know what? We're all tired.
我们找个地方停下过夜吧 Let's just pull over and stop for the night, huh?
保罗 我们是通缉犯 好么？ We're fugitives, Paul, all right?
我可不想坐在那等待黑超特警来抓 I refuse to just sit around and wait to get fingered by the Men in Black.
听着 就找个安静的地方，提高警惕就行了 We just gotta find somewhere quiet. We won't draw attention to ourselves.
但是我们应该去哪，保罗？ But where are we going, Paul?
喔，到了你就知道了 Oh, you'll know it when you see it.
- 两个白人？ - 2个奇怪的人 - Two white guys? - Two strange white guys.
两个奇怪的白种人 了解了 买了奇怪的东西么？ Strange white guys. Got it. Order anything weird?
巧克力什么的 Chocolate milk.
巧克力… 巧克力？巧克力… Chocolate... Chocolate? Chocolate...
佐伊尔，报告 Zoil, report.
我在加油站追踪到了他的线索 We've tracked him to a gas station in Ely.
他可能正在旅行中，和两个开着房车的英格兰人一起 We think he may be traveling in an RV with two men from England.
新英格兰？ New England?
老英格兰 Old England.
真意外他们是什么人，军情6处的？ Creepy. What are they, ML6?
不是，就是几个从动漫展刚回来的书呆子 Negative. Just a couple of nerds on the lam from Comic-Con.
我姐姐的孩子也这么干 My sister's kid went to that.
动漫里的同性恋 Little manga faggot.
事情不太对头 我觉得我们有内部人员在帮他 Zoil, something doesn't feel right. I think he had help on the inside.
让那些书呆子人间蒸发 I want those nerds iced
然后把那个绿绿的小麻烦给我带回来，无论死活，越快越好 and that little green prick either back in his fishbowl or dead ASAP.
差不多了 我能感觉到 I'm closing in. I can feel it.
24小时内 他会希望他从来没有踏足过地球 In 24 hours he's gonna wish he never set foot on planet Earth.
好的 Good.
到啦，就是这个地方 Okay. Here we are. This is the place.
是啊，这里看起来不错 Yeah, this looks good.
貌似不像有人会在这里被干掉 It doesn't look like anyone's been murdered here.
安静的让人不自在 Awfully quiet.
安静很好啊，格雷姆，安静是我们的朋友 Quiet's good, Graeme. Quiet's our friend.
你们好 Hi, there.
外面有个女孩… There's a girl outside.
好吧 好吧 听着 Okay. All right. Look.
我们只是两个普通人 We're just a couple of regular guys
去美国中西部旅游 on a tour of the less touristy side of the American Midwest.
我认为她听不到你 I don't think she heard you.
我在和你说啊 I'm talking to you.
喔，不好意思 Oh, sorry.
嗨 我是 露丝·巴格斯 Hi. I'm Ruth Buggs.
晚上好 露丝 我是个作家 克莱夫·戈灵 Good evening, Ruth. I am the writer, Clive Gollings.
他是我朋友 也是合作伙伴，格雷姆·威廉先生 This is my friend and cohort, Mr. Graeme Willy.
你们还有空位吗？ Have you got room?
当然，是的，9号停车位 Sure. Yeah, park in bay nine.
25美元一晚 包括固定钩 It's $25 a night, including hookups
还要一个人的ID做抵押 and I'll need an ID to hold onto.
好的 Okay.
我们是一对靠得住的人 We're just a couple of regular guys
在不适宜旅游的美国中西部旅行 on a tour of the less touristy side of the American Midwest.
- 真激动啊 - 明白 - How exciting. - I know.
给你，这是我的护照 There you go. It's my passport.
英国 我喜欢英国 The UK. I love the UK.
- 你去过？ - 不 - Have you been? - No.
你去吧 You should go.
不，不，我是说，你应该去伦敦 No, no, I meant, you should go to London.
我想去很多地方 There's a lot of places I want to go.
露丝！露丝！回来！ Ruth! Ruth! Get in here!
我明早来收钱 I'll be by in the morning to get your money
祝你们有个愉快的夜晚，好吗？ so have a pleasant evening now, won't you?
- 谢谢 - 谢谢 - Thank you. - Thank you.
你也是，拜 Bye. And you. Bye.
她真可爱 She was lovely.
那为何你不和她结婚呢？ Why don't you just marry her, then?
嘣！ Boo!
每一次有效果！ Every time, it works!
那是在30秒之前 That was 30 seconds ago, I did it.
- 干什么呢 这么久？ - 我只是聊天而已 爸爸 - What took you so long? - I was just talking, Papa.
你们聊太多了 Well, you talk too much.
对不起 爸爸 Sorry, Papa.
哈喽 Hello.
- 来一根？ - 不 谢谢 我不抽烟 - You want a cigarette? - No, thanks. I don't smoke.
- 我能问你些事情么？ - 恩，当然 - Can I ask you something? - Yeah, sure.
- 你和格雷姆，你们两个… - 什么？ - You and Graeme, are you guys... - What?
你懂的… You know...
你懂的！你们俩，两个男人… You know! You guys, two guys...
你还没明白么？ Fucking kidding me?
你什么… What are you...
- 我不明白你的意思 - 同志！ - I don't know what you mean. - Gay!
不！为什么每个人都这么说？ No! Why do people keep saying that?
恩，我只是想知道而已 No, I was just wondering.
如果你是 那完全OK啊 在我们星球上什么人都可以 It's totally cool if you are. Everyone's bi on my planet.
这就是个美好的事情 懂我意思吧？ It's all about the pleasure thing. You know what I'm saying?
你为什么来地球 保罗？ Why are you here, Paul?
喔 其实我是有着真正的科学使命的 Oh, I was here on a science mission, actually,
但是后来我的飞船出了些问题 and then I had some spaceship-related problems,
然后就坠毁了 and I kind of crashed.
但幸运的是有一个小女孩 Lucky for me though, this little girl,
她把我从飞船残骸里拖了出来 she pulls me out of the wreck.
然后，就有人来了，把我蒙起来带去了基地 Next thing I know, guys arrive, cart me off to the base.
这么多年来你一直都在干嘛？ What have you been doing here all this time?
想办法回家，还一直做些无聊的咨询 I've been kicking back, man. I've been shooting the shit.
我一直是政府的顾问 I've been advising the government.
不仅仅是政府 Not just the government.
我想设计让他有一些特殊的能力 I want him to have some kind of a special power.
某些类似救世主那样的 Something messianic.
好吧 史蒂夫 细胞复活怎么样？ Okay, Steven, how about cellular revivification?
恩，我不知道那是什么 Yeah, I don't know what that is.
哦 重组修复细胞组织 Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue
通过心灵遥感传输部分记忆 through telepathic manipulation of intrinsic field memory.
- 那是啥意思？ - 意思就是“治疗” 斯皮尔伯格先生 - What's that mean? - It means healing, Mr. Spielberg.
喔，很好 治疗 Yeah, right. Healing.
通过接触，或者摸一下什么的 By touch, or something like that.
也许再当它伸手和触摸的时候，在手指上加点灯光？ Maybe his finger lights up at the end when he reaches out and touches?
也许，你知道，有些时候简单点比较好 Maybe. You know, sometimes I find less is more.
嗨 相信我 Hey. Trust me.
你会吃惊于他对流行文化的影响有多深 You'd be surprised how much he's influenced popular culture
在过去六十年里 over the last 60 years.
特工摩多是对的 Agent Mulder was right.
- 特工摩多是我构思的！ - 真的么？ - Agent Mulder was my idea! - Really?
那真是太酷了 That's cool.
喇叭"滴"死那个地球佬 我喜欢这首歌 Pump that shit, Earth-man. I like this song.
马文，我的孩子 Marvin's my boy.
来啊 放开点 孩子们 Come on. Break it down a bit, boys.
别怕嘛 Don't be afraid.
看我，我多放得开 Yeah, look at me, I'm breaking it down.
那个夹子 Use them tongs.
随着曲调跳舞 Dance with those tongs.
弄点火… Stoke the fire!
是的 Yes.
露丝！该祷告了！ Ruth! Prayers!
这首歌后面怎么唱我就不知道了 I don't know the words to this song.
没人知道 No one does!
伙计们，让我乱搞吧 Guys, let's get fucked up.
谁在敲门？不要敲了 Oh, who's knocking? Stop it.
- 你干什么？ - 喔 住嘴… - What are you doing? - Oh, shut up.
我就躲在这里 I'll hide in here.
- 不要出来 - 我出来干嘛？ - Don't come out. Why would I come out?
- 是谁？ - 露丝 - Who is it? - It's Ruth.
你敢开门！ Ooh... Don't you dare open that door.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hello.
早上好 我能进来么？ Good morning. May I come in?
- 不 我觉得你最好别进来 - 可以，进来吧 - No. I don't think you should come in. - Yeah. Make yourself at home.
- 还都没整理过 - 你随意 别客气 - I'm not really dressed. - Sure. In you come.
都还好吗？ Oh, was everything okay?
- 是的 非常好 很好 - 谢谢 足够了 - Yes it was. It was very nice. The best. Ever. - Yes, thank you. Adequate.
那么，还有一个在哪里？ So, where's the other one?
还有一个？就是… The other one? It's just...
喔，喔，别担心 我们不按人头收费 Oh, oh. It's okay, we don't charge by the person.
我昨天晚上看到三个人影在房车后面跳舞 是吧？ There were three shadows I saw dancing around the RV last night, right?
- 另外一个 另外一个 - 喔 他… - The other one. The other one. - Oh... He...
我在包间里 我昨天吃了个没开口的开心果 I'm in the can. I ate a closed pistachio.
我正在为此付出代价 I'm paying for it.
- 真是件不错的T恤 - 谢谢，我在教会里得到的 - That's a nice T-shirt. - Oh, thanks. I got it at my church.
上面画着达尔文正在被耶稣爆头 It's Jesus shooting Charles Darwin.
耶稣干嘛要爆达尔文的头？ Why would Jesus want to shoot Charles Darwin?
因为他那亵渎上帝的进化论呀！ Because of his blasphemous theories.
你们是上帝的臣民吗？ Are you men of God?
我们是科学的臣民 We're men of science, you know.
我们相信是某种生物序列的机制 We believe in the establishment of a biological order
通过物理及化学综合反应的复杂环境下所形成 through the maelstrom of physical and chemical chaos.
上帝在六天时间创造了地球，并且在安息日他休息了 God created the Earth in six days, and on the seventh day he rested.
真的？ Really?
或许是上帝 你不知道是吗？这是未解的问题 Or it could be God. You don't know, do you? It's up in the air.
这个世界已经有4000年了 这么精巧的设计只可能是由上帝来完成的 The world is 4,000 years old and can only be the product of intelligent design.
真是胡扯 Oh, that's horseshit.
好的，那么 All right, well, then,
请你解释一下像眼睛这样复杂的东西 please explain how something as complex as the human eye
是怎么形成的 simply just comes into being.
不要告诉我一些陈旧的复杂的废话 Oh, don't give me that old irreducible complexity crap.
和那些废话一样复杂的东西就是不会产生的 Something as intricate as that does not just occur
如果没有上帝之手的介入 without the intervention of a guiding hand.
就是不会产生！ It didn't just occur!
这是数十亿年的发展 It is the culmination of billions of years of development
和无数物种作为代价的结果 across countless fucking species.
你在说些什么？ What are you talking about?
演化论 宝贝 Evolution, baby.
都是亵渎！ Blasphemy!
不论你说什么做什么也动摇不了我的信仰 Nothing that you can say or do can shake my belief or faith
众所周知是上帝创造了天与地 in the sure and certain knowledge that God made heaven and earth
以及根据他自己的形象创造了我们 and created us all in His own image.
- 他自己的形象？ - 是的 - Oh, his own image? - Yeah.
那么，我有一个问题 Well, I got a question.
你应该怎么解释我？ How do you explain me?
她要倒了 她要倒了 接着… She's going, she's falling. Catch...
真是火爆的辣妞 And that's Jenga.
- 你又干嘛？ - 她晕倒了！ - Why did you do that? - She fainted!
大家都看到啦！他们晕倒了！ We've gone through this! They faint!
但是我们现在得带着她了！ But we're going to have to take her with us now!
不！不！ No! No!
这是美国 绑架一个基督徒？那比窝藏通缉犯更糟糕 This is America. Kidnapping a Christian? That's worse than harboring a fugitive.
但她看见你了 如果我们离开 她就会去找警察！ But she's seen you. If we leave her, she's going to call the police!
谁会吊这个？没人会信这个满口上帝的独眼龙MM的 Who gives a shit? No one's going to believe this God-bothering Cyclops.
我们就把她扔在路边好了！就把她扔在路上 Let's just dump her on the road! Just roll her up in the rug.
不 我们不能冒险！如果我们把她带上，那可以让她成为我们的人！ We can't risk that! If we take her with us, then we can get her on our side!
是啊，你当然想要她和我们一起了 是吧？ You'd love to get her on her side, wouldn't you?
根本没道理这么干 That doesn't make sense.
听着 她不会有事的 我们都是好人！ Look. She'll be fine. We're quite nice.
好吧 那我的护照怎么办？ All right. What about my passport?
喔，上帝！你们这些家伙 Oh, God! You guys.
“耶稣优先”
不！ No!
‎‎（霍林斯，克莱夫，英国臣民）
喔，该死 Oh, shit.
露丝，看在上帝的份上… Ruth, what in the Lord's name...
- 早上好 - 早上好 - Morning. - Morning.
走，走，走！ Go, go, go!
喔，妈的！ Oh, fuck.
你给我出来 魔鬼！ Show yourself, demon!
你在哪？你在哪？ Where are you? Where are you?
护照，护照！ Passport! Passport!
跳，跳！ Jump! Jump!
干嘛？ 这在我们星球上算小的 What? That's actually small on my planet.
露丝？ Ruth?
哈喽，露丝 来杯茶怎么样？ Hello, Ruth, would you like a cup of tea?
我在哪里？ Where am I?
嗨，看看谁醒了 Hey, look who's awake.
魔鬼！ 魔鬼！ Demon! Demon!
十分抱歉，我们不会伤害你，我保证 We're sorry. We're not going to hurt you, I promise.
而且我们会尽快你走的 And we'll let you go just as soon as we can.
你们被撒旦的化身所迷惑了 You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
- 他是恶魔！ - 老子就坐这儿 你来啊！ - He's evil! - I'm sitting right here, come on!
不 他不是恶魔，他就是有点粗鲁 我们正在想办法送他回家 No, he's not evil, he's just a bit rude. We're trying to help him get home.
他来自另外一个世界 He's from another world.
只有一个世界！我们的这个！主创造的这个世界！ There's only one world, our world! The world that our God, the Father, created!
我这么说不知道是不是让你好受点 If it makes you feel any better
我的存在只是颠覆了传统的观念 my existence only disproves traditional notions
关于亚伯拉罕诸教，犹太-基督教的观念 of the Abrahamic, Judeo-Christian God,
当然还包括所有的神学论，我就这意思 as well as all one-world theologies. That's all I meant.
"天赐恩宠" 多甜美的声音 Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
你这人什么毛病啊！ You can't win with these people!
露丝，请听我解释，就一会儿好吗，请你冷静下来 Ruth, just listen to me, for one second. Please, if you could just calm down.
这样子我没法开车 I can't drive like this.
她现在说话了？我干 She's talking in tongues now? Fuck this.
你对她都做了什么？ What did you do to her?
我刚刚给她传了我精选的知识和经验 I just transferred my collective knowledge and experience
通过她的精神感知连接系统 via a tactile psychokinetic bridge.
噢，哇，能给我来一下么？ Ooh, wow, could you do me?
干这个我脑袋疼的吃不消 It really takes it out of me.
哦，拜托，求你了 Oh, go on, please.
噢，哇哦！ Oh, wow!
哦，天哪 Oh, yeah.
他以前老是比我先知道《太空堡垒》新一集的内容 He always knew what was going on in Battlestar before me
就因为他妈妈装了有线电视 'cause his mum had cable.
好吧，靠边，我给你也来一下 Fine, pull over. I'll do you.
我才不要 我不喜欢剧透 Absolutely not. No spoilers.
我可没打电话给政府！我只叫了警察！ I didn't call the government. I called the police!
这可不是警察能管的了的，巴格斯先生 This is not the police's area of expertise, Mr. Buggs.
- 那个魔鬼抓走了我的女儿 - 你说的"魔鬼"指的是什么？ - That devil took my daughter. - What do you mean, devil?
你的女儿叫露丝对吗？ And your daughter's name is Ruth, is it?
是的 自从她妈妈去世，我独自抚养她长大 That's right. I brought her up by myself after her mama died.
你有露丝的照片吗？ Do you have a photograph of Ruth, sir?
是的，她比较容易辨认 Yeah. She's pretty easy to spot.
自从她4岁她就有一只眼睛失明了 She's had this eye thing since she was four years old.
没有想过带她去看医生治疗眼睛吗？ Didn't want to take her to a doctor for that?
她唯一所需要的医生就是上帝 The good Lord is the only doctor she'll ever need.
复制一下 你这儿有没有电话 Copy that. Do you have a phone here
也许你的女儿会联系你，如果她决定打电话吧？ that your daughter might try to reach you at if she decides to call?
是的，电话就在后面 Yeah, in the back.
那个，彼得·派克 放下相机去弄一下电话？ Hey, Peter Parker. Want to put the snappy down and get to the phone?
好的 Right.
如果她能联系我的话一定会打过来的 She'll call me if she can.
- 你刚才提到他们去东方了？ - 没错 - You mentioned they went east? - That's right.
他们过了火烧峡后会下191号公路 They'll get off the 191 after Flaming Gorge
如果他们不在洲际公路上 if they ain't on the interstate.
那里有过一次油管泄漏… There's been a big-rig spill...
那就这样吧 伙计们，上车 Here we go. Boys, to the car.
非常非常感谢你们及时赶来，长官 Thank you very, very much for your time, sir.
答应我会杀死那个东西，佐伊尔先生 不管它是什么杀死它 Promise me you'll kill that thing, Mr. Zoil. Kill it for what it is.
我们会尽力的 We're gonna do our best.
我见过它的眼睛 I've seen its eyes.
它是恶魔 It's evil.
祝你成功，佐伊尔先生 Godspeed, Mr. Zoil.
最初48小时很关键 First 48 are crucial.
长官，能告诉我们在找什么吗？ Sir, you mind telling us what we're looking for?
是啊我们在找什么呢？ Yeah, what are we looking for?
我说了这是一项秘密行动 I told you this is a need-to-know operation.
是的 长官 但是… Yes, sir, but...
该死… Damn it.
长官，我觉得你应该告诉我们情况 Sir, I think it's time you tell us.
他我叫你做什么你就TM做什么 哈格德 Hey, just do what the fuck I tell you, Haggard.
现在让我们去找到那个老疯子的女儿，趁现在还来得及 Now let's go find that crazy old bastard's little girl before it's too late.
露丝！ Ruth!
露丝，等等！ Ruth, wait!
离我远点！ Leave me alone!
请，请等一下，我有"胫骨应力综合症"！ Please, please, stop. I've got shin splints.
他不可能是从太空来的 根本不可能！ He cannot be from space! It's not possible.
他一定是从其它的某个地方来的 He's from somewhere else.
露丝，你也亲眼看到了是吧？他展示给你的那些东西 Ruth, you saw it for yourself, okay? He showed you.
地球以外可能还有个数十亿的智慧文明存在 There's probably billions of intelligent civilizations out there.
那他们都在哪？ So where is everybody?
但是不是有个在那吗！ But one of them's there!
他们看我没？他们看我没？ Are they looking? Are they looking?
他们现在正看着对吗？ Are they looking right now?
抱歉 Sorry.
你真是无药可救了 That's pathetic.
你对我有什么不满，克莱夫？ What's your beef, Clive?
我没不满 I don't have a beef.
我来自外太空 你是一个科幻小说作家 I'm from outer space. You're a science-fiction writer.
我们应该很合得来 We should be best buds.
不是你的原因 It's not you.
而是我 It's me.
难道说？你吃她的醋了？ Is that what this is? You're jealous? Of her?
不是那样 It's not just that.
哇哦 Whoa.
是我？ Of me?
是不是因为我和格雷姆 This is because me and Graeme
在你睡着的时候亲热了两分钟？ got two minutes of face-time while you were sleeping?
- 就因为这个？ - 我想特别点 你知道吗？ - Is that what this is? - I wanted this to be special, you know?
我就一直梦想遇见你这样的外星人 I have dreamt about meeting you
自从我看了《Mac and Me》 ever since I saw Mac and Me.
但是我搞砸了 And I blew it.
现在你们关系融洽，他站在外面和女孩聊天 Now you two are friendly, and he's off talking to girls
而我呢？ and it's like, where am I?
得了吧伙计！ Come on, man.
这 就很特别啊 This is special.
你们两个又呆又傻 再遇到了我，这就是命运 You guys being all nerdy and shit and meeting me. That is fate.
谁会在意你是不是尿了裤子啊 老兄 Who cares if you pissed your pants, man?
我第一次来地球的时候，第一次看见你们人类我就吐了 When I first got here, first time I saw a human, I puked.
你们长的太古怪了 You guys are weird looking.
身体巨大 脑袋又那么小 You have giant bodies. You have tiny, little, tiny heads.
- 现在看起来顺眼了 - 不 - You're just being nice now. - No.
喂 你要不要爽一下？ Look, you want a little sugar?
就是些知识和经验而已 兄弟 It's just knowledge and experience, man.
你是个作家 或许这会给你点灵感 You're a writer. Might give you some inspiration.
会痛吗？ Will it hurt?
放松就不会 Only if you struggle.
好吧 All right.
那么我被告知我所有生活中的一切 So, everything that I have been told my whole life
只是个大大的谎言 is just a big fat lie.
你认为那感觉怎样？ Do you know how that feels?
就因为你的真相不是真实的真相，那并不是说就没有真相了，露丝 Just because your truth isn't a true truth doesn't mean that there is no truth, Ruth.
- 对你来说很容易说的 - 真的不是 - That's easy for you to say. - It's really not.
那么就没有天堂，没有地狱，没有对，没有错，也没有原罪了？ So there's no heaven. No hell, no right, no wrong, no sin?
那么… Well...
- 我能喝酒吗？ - 如果想喝的话 - I can drink? - If you like.
- 我能私通吗？ - 也许吧 - I can fornicate? - Maybe.
- 我能说脏话？ - 嗯，是的 - I can curse? - Well, yeah.
- 鸡鸡！ - 露丝 - Penises! - Ruth.
傻帽，平胸，放屁，肛门！ Assing, hairy boobs, poop-farting buttholes!
露丝，我不觉得这有什么意义 Ruth, I'm not sure this is helping.
你想做什么？ What are you doing?
- 住手！ - 干嘛？ 干嘛住手？ - Stop it! - Why? Why should I stop?
这不是… This is not...
因为你还有整整一辈子的时间去尝试新的事物 Because you have your whole life to explore new things.
好吗？ Okay?
也没必要现在就来研究我的那个 It doesn't necessarily mean you should be exploring mine right now.
你告诉过我你想旅行，去看新鲜的东西吗？这是个好机会 You said you wanted to travel, to see new stuff? This is your chance.
我真觉得你应该和我们一起走 I really think you should come with us.
那我要睡在哪呢？ Where would I sleep?
我可以睡在沙发上 而你可以睡在我的床上 I'll sleep on the sofa. And then you can have my bed.
你最好用支笔把我用过的一些纸巾给推开，因为我有一点感冒 But I'd push the tissues off with a pen, if I were you, because I've had a cold.
哦… Oh.
露丝已经决定和我们一起 Ruth has decided that she would like to come with us.
好啊… Wicked.
我去洗把脸 I'm gonna go freshen up.
喂 露丝 等一下 Hey, Ruth. Wait up.
你不抽烟的啊 You don't smoke.
我只是想说声谢谢 I just wanted to say thanks.
我知道这对你来说很离奇 I know this has been weird for you,
但你救了我一命，我欠你一个人情，好吗？ but you saved my life and I owe you one, okay?
好的 Okay.
顺便问一下你那眼睛怎么回事？ What have you got there, by the way?
在你的左心室内有严重的生理缺陷？ Severe epiretinal membrane complicated by macular edema in your left vitreous cavity?
你是怎么知道的？ How did you know that?
侥幸猜到的 Lucky guess.
你介意我看一下吗？ Do you mind if I take a look at it for one second?
那句老话怎么说来着？以眼还眼？ What does it say in the Old Testament? "An eye for an eye"?
- 等 我不… - 没事的 相信我 - Wait, I don't... - It's okay. You can trust me.
- 我不知道… - 来一点信心，好吗？ - I don't know... - Just have a little faith, okay?
你是怎么做到的？ How did you do that?
进化 宝贝 Evolution, baby.
- 格雷姆？ - 嗯？ - Graeme? - Yeah?
哦上帝啊 克莱夫 Oh, my God. Clive.
我的上帝 Oh, my God.
你在干什么？快点，该你了 What are you going to do? Come on. Make your move.
噢 该死的 Oh, shit. Damn it.
‎‎（你是我干过的最棒的尤物——老布什）
嗨，看着点，看着点！ Hey, check it out! Check it out!
这不难嘛 This is easy.
慢慢打方向 保罗 慢慢打方向 Small corrections, Paul. Just make small corrections.
格雷姆 幅度小一点！ Graeme, hit the brakes!
嘿 你好 小懒猫！ Hey, there, sleepy face!
"操蛋"了，这是我睡的最"奶屁"爽的一次 Fuckeroo. That was the best titty-farting sleep I have ever had.
露丝 我觉得你现在是个爆粗新手 I got a feeling that you're new to cursing, Ruth.
你看，爆粗口很有意思，但你还是有必要选择适当的时机，好吗？ Look, cursing's fun. You just gotta pick your moments, okay?
嗨，也许我们应该停下来去弄点吃的，有谁饿了吗？ Maybe we should stop for some food. Is anybody hungry?
- 妈的是饿了！ - 露丝？ - Fuck, yeah! - Ruth?
你JB废话 我当然也饿了！ You bet your big, fat cock I am!
这个不错！ Nice!
我饿死了 I'm starving.
这句不咋地 胖毛球？ What's new, fatty?
我不是胖 保罗 我是强壮 又肥又壮 It's not fat, Paul, it's power. Fat power.
- 真粗鲁 - 你够粗鲁的 - So rude. - You're rude.
我觉得该给我爸打个电话 Maybe I should call my dad.
- 什么？ - 什么？为什么？ - What? - What? Why?
我都失踪一整天 I've been gone for a whole day
他要是报警的话，那他们就回来找我 and if he calls the police, they're gonna be looking for us.
要是不打的话 很有可能我们就在这个垃圾小镇上玩完了 If I don't, there's a good chance we could all end up in Shit-Butt City.
你想的还真周到啊 You're really getting the hang of this.
谢了 精液男 Thanks, dick milk.
‎‎（星球大战4插曲）
- 我很快就好 - 好的 小心点 - I won't be long. - Okay. Be careful.
- 露丝·巴格斯？ - 你是？ - Ruth Buggs? - Yes?
听仔细了 我要你告诉我你在哪里 Listen to me carefully. I want you to tell me where you are.
你是谁？ Who is this?
我的名字是特工佐伊尔 My name is Agent Zoil,
这非常重要，告诉我你在哪 and it's very important that you tell me where you are
还有你们要去哪里 巴格斯小姐 and where you are headed, Ms. Buggs.
我不能告诉你 I can't tell you.
我是说，我什么都不知道 I mean, I don't know.
你被劫持了 You've been abducted.
正在和你在一起旅行的那个个体是个高度危险分子 And the individual that you're traveling with is highly dangerous.
哦 不 他并不危险 Oh, no, he's not dangerous.
我的意思是，他是有些粗鲁，还狂爆粗口 I mean, he's kind of rude, he curses a lot,
还有几次我看到他在抓他自己的太空蛋蛋 and a couple times I've seen him scratch his spaceman balls.
请听我说 你父亲非常担心你 Please listen to me. Your father is extremely worried about you
而我们想帮助你回家，巴格斯小姐 and we'd like to get you home, Ms. Buggs.
他给我看了很多东西 He showed me things.
她是在说那个外星蛋蛋吧 She's talking about his spaceman balls.
你知道我们是想要帮助你 对吧 露丝？ You know I'm just trying to help you, right, Ruth?
我现在真的不知道怎么去辨别真假了，我有点迷茫了 I don't know what's real anymore. I'm confused.
- 找到那个贱人了！ - 好样的 兄弟！击个掌！ - We got the bitch! - Yeah, dog! Up high!
该死的，哈格德！ Damn it, Haggard!
哇哦，放慢些，宝贝 Whoa, slow down there, baby.
对不起，我得去我朋友那里了 Excuse me, I have to get to my friends.
我下面也有个小朋友想要见见你呢 I got a friend down here that would love to meet you.
我也是哦 Me, too.
那个，我也差不多很想会会你们的弟弟 Well, as much as I would like to meet your penises,
我有急事，不好意思了 I'm in a hurry, so excuse me.
这个不会要很久的，宝贝 Now, this won't take long, sugar.
不是 根本就不会太久 Nope. Won't take long at all.
既然你们都是如此罗曼蒂克，那我也只能 Well, since you're both being so romantic, maybe I could
跟你的弟弟猛说幸会了 give it just a quick hello.
我操！该死！ What the fuck? Shit!
现在，为何你不… Now, why would you even...
好吗？我的蛋蛋！ Okay?My balls!
嗨，你爸爸怎么样了？ Hey, how's your dad?
- 我们得走了 - 那披萨怎么办？ - We gotta go. - What about the mini pizzas?
- 我们必须得走了！ - 不，别走！ - We gotta go now! - No, you don't!
真他妈的！ Holy shit!
原是你们两个开着烂车太空废柴！ It's the space faggots that dinged the fuck-mobile!
- 是啊 我们要走了 - 我有不详预感 - Yeah. We were just leaving. - I don't feel well.
- 我不这么认为 - 放开她！ - I don't think so. - Leave her alone!
妈的，碰上船员了！ Oh, shit! Sailors!
- 我们走 - 抱歉！ - Let's go. - Sorry!
打扰一下 小姐 Excuse me, miss.
老爸？ Papa?
露丝？我的主啊！你的眼睛！ Ruth? My Lord! Your eye!
- 我们走！ - 我老爸怎么办？ - Let's go! - What about my dad?
我们走！ Let's go, boy!
往哪儿跑啊，小姐们？ Where you going, girls?
离我们远点，你们这两个傻B！ Leave us alone, you stupid vaginas!
像你这样的一个小美人这么说话可不行！ That's no way for a pretty little thing like you to talk!
恕我直言，她才学这个没多久！ She's fairly new to it, to be honest.
这里交给我，我和他们谈谈 Leave this to me. I'll talk to them.
你们两个混蛋！ Yo, fucknuts!
开始肛门探测了 It's probing time.
哈！我们也就一个人吓晕而已！ Ha! Only one of us fainted.
妈的！夏威夷五人组，我们撤了！ Oh, shit! The five-O! Let's bounce.
对不起 是他们接的电话 I'm sorry. They answered the phone.
他们知道了我们在哪里 They knew about us.
快上车 Get in the RV.
- 快，他们快要醒了！ - 快点！ - Come on, they're going to wake up! - Hurry!
对不起啦！ Sorry!
好了，我们要从大路上下来 Okay. We need to get off the road.
- 不是应该继续开吗？ - 不 - Shouldn't we keep moving? - No.
他们就想要我们这么做 That is exactly what they'll expect us to do.
相信我！傻子才会这时候停下来 Trust me. Only an idiot would stop right now.
- 开进去 好极了 - 什么？保罗 - Yeah, pull in here. Perfect. - What? Paul.
我们是笨蛋，记得吗？ We're idiots, remember?
我们现在应该怎么办？ What should we do now?
喝杯热巧克力然后睡觉怎么样？ How about a hot chocolate and bed?
你什么人啊，跟我奶奶一样？ What are you, my grandma?
哦，我可睡不着 太紧张激动了 Oh, I couldn't sleep. I'm too pumped.
嗯，我也是我们喝点啤酒，找个地方放松一下 Yeah, me, too. Let's get some beers. Find somewhere to chill.
你说什么？ What do you say?
如果别人看到你怎么办？ What if someone sees you?
外面没人 而且我还会这个 It's dead out there. And I can do this.
好吧，算我一个 Okay. I'm in.
- 兄弟？ - 没问题 - Rocky? - Sure.
布尔温克？ Bullwinkle?
我有点累 I'm a little bit tired.
别像个娘们儿 Don't be a pussy.
不要叫我娘… Don't call me a...
好吧 All right.
别碰我 Just get your hands off me!
格斯？ Hoss?
我能为你做些什么？ Something I can help you with?
嗯，告诉我这里发生了什么？ Yeah. You mind telling me what happened here?
就是几个喝啤酒的土老冒引发的全场乱斗 Just a good old-fashioned beer-soaked slobberknocker.
想想有没有可疑的事情？ See anything unusual?
有两个乡巴佬在后面的救护车上哭个不停 A couple hillbilly types in the back of that meat wagon won't stop crying.
两位晚上看到了什么不寻常的事吗？ Have you gentlemen seen anything unusual this evening?
肯定？ Are we sure?
- 谢谢 - 不麻烦 - Thank you. - No sweat.
这个橱窗很不错 里面有一个小牛仔，看到没？ It's a nice window. It's a little cowboy, isn't it?
很好笑 That's funny.
我想说昨天你亲我的时候真的挺好笑的 I'll tell you what else is funny, was when you kissed me yesterday.
- 对不起 - 不… - Sorry. - No. It's not...
我就像“来干我吧，你这个强奸犯” I was like, "Get off me, you rapist."
- 再来一次，如果你要的话 - 什么？ - Do it again, if you like. - What?
我说你可以再来一次，如果你想要的话 I said you can do it again, if you like.
真的？ Really?
如果你真要试这个，也许你应该和一个朋友试 If you're gonna try it, then maybe you should do it with a friend,
总比和个陌生人要好吧 rather than someone like a stranger
外面古怪的人又这么多 because there's a lot of weirdos out there.
我正打算要接很多的吻还有通奸 I am planning on doing a lot of kissing and fornicating
你可真是帮了我的大忙了 so you'd really be helping me out.
- 好极了 - 好的 - Great. - Okay.
- 你是说现在？ - 不是，我以为你… - What, now? - No, I thought you meant...
可以，我们就现在吧 No, I did. Let's do it now.
- 我想说… - 是的 - I mean... - Yeah, all right.
我把手放在你身上 Put my hands on you.
就这儿？好的 Just stand here? Okay.
稳住了 Hold you steady.
我靠！ Fuck!
真抱歉 我以为我撑不住要昏倒了 I'm sorry. I thought I was gonna pass out.
继续吧 Carry on.
- 怎么了？ - 没事，就随便转了下 - What's happening? - Nothing, just hanging around.
他们都快干上了 真尴尬 They were about to make out. It was awkward.
我们只不过… We were just...
好 麻烦你把短裤穿上 保罗 Good. Please put your shorts on, Paul.
你们谁来点？ You guys partake?
不 谢了 No, thank you.
我要加入 I'll partake.
你确定？这玩意他娘的口味超重 Are you sure? It's pretty strong shit.
实际上是我从军方搞来的 迪伦就是抽这个抽死的 I got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
鲍勃·迪伦 没死呢 Bob Dylan's not dead.
没死吗？ Isn't he?
我还要 Hit me.
你知道抽慢点 Okay. Just go easy on it.
露丝 Ruth.
慢慢来，慢慢来 Just a little bit. Little bit.
这还行嘛 It's not so bad.
老实说 这东西是后劲足 To be fair, it takes a while to be absorbed into...
我靠 Oh, shit.
我饿了 我们烤点香肠吧 I'm hungry. We should cook up some sausages.
我们有没有香肠啊？ Do we have any sausages?
- 你啥意思？ - 不是 - What do you mean by that? - No.
为什么你们要讨厌我？我们烤点香肠吧？ Why do you guys hate me? Can we cook up some sausages?
噢 我感觉我脑袋里有个马蜂窝！ Ooh, I have wasps in my brain!
她没事的 我第一次也这样 She'll be fine. That happened to me the first time.
保罗 Paul.
我想问问 你了解我们 对吧？ I was wanting to ask. You know us now, right?
当然，格雷姆 我们是一辈子的好朋友 Yeah. Graeme, we're bona fide BFFs.
为什么你现在这么急着走？ Why are you in such a hurry to leave now?
对于政府来说，我已经没什么利用价值了 Well, according to the government, I've fulfilled my usefulness.
我把所有我知道的统统都教给了他们 I told them everything I know.
但还有一样东西我有所保留，那就是我的能力 The only thing I have left to offer them now are my abilities.
治愈能力，心智传输，还有隐身 The healing, the thought transfer, the camouflage.
为了获得这些能力，他们要一些我的干细胞 In order to cultivate those abilities, they need some of my stem cells.
但我不愿意这么做 And I'm not really down with that.
幸运的是 我在里面有个朋友 Lucky for me, I do have one friend left on the inside.
所以 得有个人把SOS信号发向太空 So, I managed to get an SOS beamed into space.
我已经让我的人整装待发准备接我回去 I got my people primed and ready to pick me up.
但那群婊子养的把日程往前提了一天 Then, motherfuckers brought the procedure forward by a day,
结果我的计划就直接傻逼了！ my whole plan goes to shit.
然后呢？ What happened?
去实验室的半路上，我打晕了跟班，偷了他的车跑了出来 On the way to the mental labs, I zapped my escort, I stole his car, I took off.
然后就遇到了你们 Found you guys.
那你被抓回去会怎么样？ So what happens if you get caught?
格雷姆，他们会把我脑子给挖出来 Graeme, they're gonna cut out my brain.
是啊 糟糕透了 Yeah. It's fucked.
这话题真扫兴 It's kind of a buzz-kill.
我们调解下气氛吧？克莱夫，你上次和女人上床啥时候？ Let's lighten the mood, shall we? Clive, when did you last get laid?
- 08年伦敦电话里叫的 - 08年 - Collectormania, London, '08. - '08.
依沃克妓女 Ewok chick.
克莱夫喜欢骨感美女！ Clive likes boning space bears!
闭嘴 Shut up.
不，你认真回答我 No, but seriously, be honest with me.
喜欢什么样的？ What was it like?
她身上有一层漂亮的毛 Well, she was furry nice.
真恶心！太恶心了！ That's disgusting! That's gross.
克莱夫 Hey, Clive.
不，布玛猫，这是禁止的 No, Boomer, it's forbidden.
克莱夫 Hey, Clive.
克莱夫！ Clive!
走了 伙计们！得离开这里了！ Let's go, guys! We gotta get out of here!
露丝呢？ Where's Ruth?
她回车上去了 She went back to the RV.
当然了！ Of course!
他还会读心术 He can read minds.
得了吧 Come on.
呃，伙计们，我们可能有点小麻烦 Guys, I think we have a slight problem over here.
不是吧 Oh, man.
我没法屏着气穿越整个小镇 I can't hold my breath the whole way through town.
等着 Wait here.
等？等等！ What? Wait!
早安，特工佐伊尔，机密部门的 Good morning. Agent Zoil, Secret Service.
你不介意我进去看看并问一些问题吧？ You mind if I come in there and ask a few questions?
当然可以 Not at all.
早上好 Morning.
- 我们干嘛要手牵手？ - 这样我们看起来像一家子 - Why are we holding hands? - So we look like a family.
是吗，去他娘的 Yeah, the fucking Friedmans.
他们会当你是侏儒 You could be a midget.
- 你原来喜欢侏儒！ - 不，没那事！ - You're obsessed with midgets! - No, I'm not!
别闹了，表现的正常点 Stop it! Just act normal.
好吧，我们就是两个普通人带这个小牛仔在逛街 We're just a couple of regular guys walking down the street with a small cowboy.
好吗 克莱夫？ All right, Clive?
克莱夫？ Clive?
- 克莱夫 - 天哪！ - Clive. - Oh, come on!
‎‎（武士刀24999$）
克莱夫，你干嘛？ Clive, what are you doing?
老兄，你搞毛啊？ Yeah, man, what the fuck?
我好喜欢 I want it.
我能帮你看看价格什么的，但这不是动漫展，克莱夫，我们有正事要办 I can appreciate it's a bargain, but this is not Comic-Con now. This is reality.
便宜没好货，这玩意你一用就会断，走吧！ It's false economy anyway, it'll break the first time you use it. Let's go!
- 我干嘛要去用它？ - 我们走吧，拜托 - Why would I ever use it? - Can we just go, please?
等等 或许我们应该进去 Wait. Maybe we should go inside.
- 什么？ - 我们躲在里面 - What? - We'll hide out.
你回去接上露丝 10分钟后开车来接我们 You go back and get Ruth. Get the RV, pick us up in 10 minutes.
你确定？ You sure?
相信我 Trust me.
早上好 我是特工佐伊尔，政府机密部门的 Good morning. My name is Agent Zoil, Secret Service.
你不介意我进去问你点问题吧？ Mind if I come in, ask you a few questions?
不如就在这里问吧？ Do you mind if we just do it right here?
里面真是乱的跟鸡巴一样 This place is a real cock-sucking mess.
知道了 Got it.
告诉你，我们就是在找个TMD外星人 I'm telling you, we're looking for a goddamn alien.
我还以为那些什么蓝皮书计划都是胡扯的 I thought all that Project Blue Book stuff was horseshit.
才不是，那些细节也都验证了 No, it all makes sense.
我是说，什么秘密行动啊？ All this hush-hush crap?
还有我找到的那张画？ The drawing that I found?
而且你也听到了，那女的那天晚上说了些什么？ What do you think that girl was talking about last night?
我靠啊！太空蛋蛋！ Holy shit! Spaceman balls!
对啊，你说谁有太空蛋蛋？ Yeah. And who has spaceman balls?
- 巴兹·奥尔德林(宇航员)？ - 你严肃点 - Buzz Aldrin? - Be serious.
你好，帅哥 Hello, handsome.
是你吗？ Is that you?
封面上的是你么？ Is that you on the cover?
不是 No.
- 你叫什么？ - 凯瑟·纳什 - What's your name? - Keith Nash.
- 很高兴见到你 我叫保罗 - 好 - Nice to meet you. I'm Paul. - Right.
那么，你没被我吓到？ So, you're not freaked out by me?
有又没有 Yes and no.
请你看一下些照片好吗？ You mind taking a look at these photographs?
你有见过这两个男的或者这个独眼的女孩吗？ Tell me if you recognize either one of these two gentlemen or the one-eyed girl?
- 女士？ - 没有 - Ma'am? - No.
任何线索？一点都没有？ Anything? Anything at all?
- 你真的认为这是外星人？ - 是啊！ - You really think this is an alien? - Yeah!
- 这是个大事情！ - 我知道！ - This is huge! This is huge! - I know! I know!
那是家漫画书店么？ Is that a comic book shop?
我们去看看？ Can we go in there?
也许吧，如果你乖 Maybe. If you're good.
你从哪儿来？ Where are you coming from?
奥斯丁 Austin.
- 好地方 - 是的，有很多蝙蝠？ - Good town. - Yeah, it is. They have a lot of bats.
什么？你说什么？ Sorry? What'd you say?
非常感谢你的帮助，你是… Okay. Thanks for your time, Mrs...
达尔文 Darwin.
夏洛特·达尔文 Charlotte Darwin.
夏洛特·达尔文，祝你一天愉快 Charlotte Darwin. You have a great day.
你不会相信这个 You are not gonna believe this.
你应该拿这本 You should get this one.
- 谢谢 - 是啊，这本不错 - Thanks. - Yeah, it's good.
漂亮！我喜欢你的风格，基思·纳什 Nice! I like your style, Keith Nash.
- 我得走了 - 回头见 - I gotta go. - Catch you later.
拜 保罗 Bye, Paul.
别被抓到咯 Don't get caught.
祝你好运！ Happy trails.
哈！ 真不错啊 Huh!
不错不错… Pretty good. Pretty good.
恩，多少钱？ How much is that?
这刀，29999 含税 With the sword, $299.99 plus tax.
我买了 Yeah, I'll wear it now.
快点老兄，走了！ Come on, man, let's go!
我就出去 I'll be right out.
早应该用些纽扣之类的东西 Should have used the cufflink thing.
太空人蛋蛋？ Spaceman balls?
把你的手从TMD老子裤裆里拿开！ Get your goddamn hands off my motherfucking junk!
他在里面！他在里面！ It's in there! It's in there!
你好 Hello.
奥莱利！ O'Reilly!
你个蠢货，那是个戴了个面罩的混蛋 You dumb shit, that's just some asshole in a mask.
圣母玛利亚啊！ Holy Mary, Mother of God!
我真的戒烟了 I gotta quit smoking.
我们走！ Let's go!
抱歉，妈妈！ Sorry, ma'am!
- 妈的！别让我… - 躲到我后面来！ - Shit! Don't let... Behind me!
快点，露臀仔！ Hurry up, buttcracks!
看，那个白痴 Look, it's that nerd.
- 那小鬼谁啊？ - 基斯·纳什！ - Who was that kid? - Keith Nash!
加速！ Punch it!
我不知道发生什么了！那小鬼什么人？ I don't know what happened! Who is that kid?
- 把车发动起来！ - 遵命！ - Get the car started! - Yes, sir!
哇哦，什么状况？你们手头有什么信息了？ Whoa, whoa. What's going on? Did you guys get me some information?
我们看到他了 我们看到外星人了 We saw it. We saw the alien.
就在漫画书店里 真恶心！我都吓出屎来了 It was in the comic book shop. It's hideous! I think I shit my pants.
你们胡说八道什么东西 I don't know what you guys are talking about.
你听着？ You know what?
你很清楚我们在说什么东西 You know exactly what we're talking about.
我已经受够了你的… I'm sick and tired of being in the dark on this...
他往哪里跑了？ Where the fuck did he go?
我给你两条路走 I got your door for you.
我挑好了 I got mine.
和那两个白痴在一起 He went with those nerds.
那么，你要跟我们一起去吗，老大？ So, you want to follow us, big guy?
你们回基地去 You kids are gonna go back to the base.
二位就好好呆着 搞点成人杂志什么的看看 Daddy's gonna stick behind, do a little adult work.
现在，告诉我小绿人往哪个方向去了 Now, tell me which way the little green guy went.
- 东北高速公路 - 东北高速公路 - North East highway. - North East highway.
现在回家去吧 Straight home, now.
不好意思各位，那是我爸！ Sorry, guys. It's my dad!
这家伙还真不放弃啊！真叫人不得不佩服 This guy doesn't quit. You kind of have to respect it.
上帝，格雷姆，开快点，走开，老爹！ Oh, God, Graeme, drive faster. Go away, Dad!
- 伙计们，冷静 - 那些混蛋追上来了！ - Guys, calm down. - Those asshorns are gonna catch us!
我说冷静点，靠边！ I said, calm down! Pull over!
- 你什么意思 "靠边"？ - 靠边停下！ - What do you mean, pull over? - Pull over!
好吧 就这样 All right. That's it.
这太危险了 现在起我就独自行动了 This is too dangerous. I can make it on my own from here.
- 你什么意思？ - 不，格雷姆，你们做的够多的了 - What do you mean? - No. Graeme, you've done enough.
我去搞辆车什么的，我会开自动档的 I'll boost a car or something. I can drive an automatic.
你是个很糟糕的驾驶员！ You're a terrible driver!
他说的对 保罗，你连自己的飞船都开不好 He's right, Paul. You can't even drive a spaceship.
离目的地很近了 我没事的！ I'm close now. I'll be fine.
Oh，这一路我们都过来了！ But we've come all this way.
是啊，什么代价呢，嗯？ Yeah, and at what cost, huh?
我把你的信仰给灭了，我还差不多害得大伙都挂了！ I've shaken your faith. I've almost gotten you guys killed!
我只想回家而已 I just want to get home.
你一定会回家的，我觉得事到如今已经不能让你一个人去干这事了！ You are going home. I think we've come too far to let you do this alone.
就是 还有那个“一辈子好朋友”呢？我们一起干 保罗！ Yeah. What happened to BFFs? We are in this together, Paul.
你蛋蛋的一起干！ You bet your hairy love eggs we are.
过去的72小时已经成了我的生命之旅 The last 72 hours have been the ride of my life
要是我现在下车 我就完蛋了！ and I'm fucked if I'm getting off this bus now!
- 是啊，我也是 - 还有我 - Yeah, me, too. - And me.
就是这样的 Well, that settles it.
我们都会完蛋 We're all fucked.
谢谢你们这些朋友 Thank you guys so much.
如果你们确定这样了，还真有件小事需要你们帮忙 If you're absolutely sure, there is a little something you can do for me.
‎‎（烟花城）
- 这个怎么样？ - 不，太小了 - What about this one? - No, too small.
- 真的？ - 是的，太小了 - Really? - Yeah, too small.
看来很符合他要求 Seems rather fitting.
- 不是很难，是吧？ - 不，不怎么好 - That wasn't difficult, was it? - No. Not at all.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hello. - Hello.
29999含税 That'll be $299.99, plus tax.
和那把刀一个价 Same as the sword.
看，他们跑出来了 Look. They're running. Holy shit!
- 你去开门 - 妈的 你会开这玩意嘛？ - Get the door. - Oh, shit. Can you drive this thing?
我从小开到大的 I've been driving these things my whole life.
快点，进来，进来！ Come on! Get in, get in.
表扬一下！ Graceful.
佐伊尔，接到一起当地911报案 Zoil. Picked up a 9-1-1 outside of Prospect.
两个开车房车的英国傻子刚抢了一家烟火点 A fireworks store just got ripped off by two British nerds in an RV.
婊子养的！ Son of a bitch!
根据目击报告，他们现在在14号公路上，在你西面40英里 According to local bacon, they're on the 14, 40 miles west of you.
开的猛一点，半小时内就可以追上他们 Drive like a man, you'll catch up to them in 30.
警察现在暂时收队了，你最好动作快点 Cops are standing down. You better spin your ass around!
知道了！ Roger that!
别逼的我亲自出马 Don't make me come out there.
今晚我被邀请参加州长的聚会 I'm guest of honor at the governor's ball tonight
我都打扮好了 and I'm dressed up real nice.
这条14好公路到去通向哪里？ Where the hell does this 14 go, anyway?
你说呢 You tell me.
能去瑟莫波利斯，还有莱特尔小溪 You got Thermopolis, you got Lytle Creek.
天那！穆尔克罗夫特也在14号公路上 Holy shit! Moorcroft's on the 14.
你不会觉得… You don't think...
要是逃回去就是婊子养的 Son of a bitch is going back.
他想要试图联络 被我们看穿了 佐伊尔 He's gonna try and make contact. We got him, Zoil.
把我的太空猴子带回来 Bring me back my space monkey
我保证你有5级许可 还有所有津贴 and I guarantee you level 5 clearance and all the perks.
好极了，还要一个好车位 Great. Better parking space would be good.
我不知道兄弟 我真想不好，他看起来很可怕 I don't know, man. I don't know. He looked awful mad.
操他的老家伙 该改朝换代了 Fuck him. He's a dinosaur. It's time for some new blood.
‎‎（欢迎来穆尔克罗夫特）
好，我们快到了 Okay. We're nearly there.
这就是我们的目的地？ This is where we've been headed?
不，我…我就是想在这里先停一下，ok？ No. I just need to make a little stop first, okay?
你觉得我们有那多余的时间来给你稍微停一下吗？ Do you think we've really got time to be making little stops?
这事我必须要去做的事 This is something I really have to do.
好，停这儿，好极了，行了就这 Okay, stop here. This is good. This is close enough.
再停近点不好吗？ Shouldn't we park a bit closer?
不 我不想吓到她 No. We don't want to scare her.
吓到谁？ Scare who?
你去敲门 你去 You knock. You knock.
总是我敲的 I always knock.
是谁？ Who's there?
是塔拉·沃尔顿吗？ Is that Tara Walton?
别来烦我！ Leave me alone.
沃尔顿 小姐！我是 克莱夫 戈灵！ Ms. Walton, my name is Clive Gollings.
这位是我的朋友，格雷姆·威廉先生！ I'm here with my friend, Mr. Graeme Willy.
好了，你想干嘛 And what do you want?
和我们一起来的还有那个60年前压死你狗的那个外星人 We're here with the alien that killed your dog 60 years ago.
走了，走了 Let's go. Let's just go.
这算什么，恶作剧吗？ What is this? Some kind of a joke?
塔拉 Hey, Tara.
是你！ You!
这钟好响啊，是吧？ That's a very loud clock, isn't it?
这么多年来我看到了你脸上的一丝紧张 You have a nerve showing your face here after all these years.
我去泡点茶来 Maybe I should make some tea.
我来吧 I'll do it.
好的 Okay.
听着，塔拉 Look, Tara.
你知道我一直都相信你的存在 I only just stopped believing in you, you know.
我花了很长时间试图说服 I spent a very long time trying to convince
他们相信我在那天晚上碰到的事 folks about what happened that night.
结果每个人都说我疯了！ Everyone said I was mad!
他们说那只不过是个陨石砸到了我的小保罗身上 They told me it was a meteor that squashed little Paul.
他们把我带走并对我测试 They took me away and they did tests.
他们说我因为撞击 They said it was for cosmic radiation.
而产生了幻觉 That I was concussed, hallucinating.
但我知道你是真实的！ But I knew you were real!
我独自把你从那太空船里拖了出来 I pulled you from that spaceship myself.
我一直照顾着你 I kept you warm and comfortable.
就和你一起坐在那里直到那些人来把你带走 I sat there with you till the men came to take you away.
他尽力去理解 Pop tried to understand,
可是他只会傻笑并且说，“那儿，那儿，塔拉” but he would just smile and say, "There there, Tara. "
当这事传了出去以后 When word got out about my story,
经常有孩子来朝我房子扔石头 叫我绰号 kids used to come and throw stones at the house, call me names.
于是，我只能躲着他们 And I just hid myself away.
无数个夜晚，我注视着夜空 I'd spend whole nights up there, just staring at the sky,
期盼能够再看到你，哪怕一眼 hoping that I'd catch a glimpse of you.
现在你来了 And here you are.
对不起，我是说，如果我那时候能够想办法做点什么… I'm sorry. If I could have done it any other way, I...
没关系 Oh, it's okay.
你真的存在 You're real.
这对我来说就足够了 That's all that matters.
我一直很肯定这点 I was right.
还有那些说我疯了的人呢？ And all those folks that said I was crazy?
让他们见过去吧！ They can all just go fuck themselves.
我给你带了点东西 我觉的你会想要回它的 I brought something for you. I thought you might want it back.
给你 Here you go.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
会是谁？ Who do you suppose that is?
- 哪来的这东西？ - 妈的！他们来了！ - Where did that come from? - Holy shit! It's them!
我去前面！ I'll take the front!
你他妈的来这里干嘛？ What the fuck are you doing here?
快，快！ Go! Go!
哈格德！ Haggard!
外星人！ Alien!
哈格德，怪叔叔在哪里？ Haggard! Where's the party, man?
这儿一个人都没！快点兄弟，我要支援！ There's no one in this place! Come on, buddy, help me out.
我操！ Oh, fuck!
不许动，混蛋！ Freeze, motherfucker!
我不行了 So weak.
把外星人给我！ Give me the alien!
把那个该死的外星人给我！ Give me the fucking alien!
- 不！ - 操，你看着点 - No! - Fuck. Watch it.
把那个外星人给我！ Give me the alien!
你自己去找个 Get your own alien.
谢了老兄，克莱夫！塔拉跟来了吗？ Thank you, Clive! Is Tara with us?
塔拉！这里走！跟着我们！ Tara! Come this way! Follow us!
蛋蛋！我爸来了！ Oh, man-balls! It's my dad!
你没事吧？我重不重？ Are you okay? Am I heavy?
跟你说了，我不肥，那叫壮！ I told you, it's not fat, it's power!
这下可好了 Oh, great.
我早说了应该停近一点的！ I told you we should've parked closer!
不，先生，他们是我的！ Holster that. They're mine!
- 这是对你的一个警告！ - 你个疯子混帐！ - Consider that a warning! - You crazy bastard!
这回逮到你了，你个太空怪物… I got you, you little space freak!
露丝！ 你给我回来！ Ruth! Get back here!
你先回家！ Just go home!
我抓到你了 混蛋 来吧 Oh, I got you, sucker. Coming.
准备好了没 Ready or not.
我操 Holy fuck.
- 爸爸！ - 露丝，等等！ - Papa! - Ruth, wait!
老爸！老爸！ Papa! Papa!
好了，他没事 他没事！ It's okay, he's alive. He's okay!
- 上，克莱夫，上！ - 等等我啊！ - Go, Clive, go! - Wait for me!
你没事吧？ You okay?
- 谢谢 我没事 - 在那儿等着 - Thank you. I'm okay. - Wait there.
格雷姆！ Graeme!
露丝，开车！ Ruth! Drive!
快点 格雷姆！ Come on, Graeme!
别丢下我！ Don't leave me!
怎么可能 Never.
格雷姆，你真把我吓坏了 Graeme, you scared the shit out of me.
露丝，谁在开车！ Ruth, why aren't you driving?
我就说了，这很简单！ I told you. It's easy!
好了，好了，好了！操，操，操，路！好的 Got it. Got it. Got it. Shit. Shit. Shit. Road! Okay.
慢慢打方向！慢慢打方向！ Small corrections! Small corrections!
哦，我的房子啊！ Oh, my weed!
去他娘的！ Motherfucking titty-sucking two-balled bitch!
佐伊尔，报告进展情况 Zoil, progress report.
我是哈格德 长官 特工佐伊尔拒绝服从命令 This is Haggard, sir. Agent Zoil is no longer in command.
我可不屌你们谁负责，他们在哪？ I don't give a shit who's in command. Where the fuck are they?
就在我前面，向东前往莱特尔小溪！ Just ahead of me, heading east towards Lytle Creek.
不干掉那个王八蛋就别回来见我！明白了？ I don't wanna hear from anybody until that cocksucker is dead! Get me?
是 先生 Yes, sir.
女士 Ma'am.
靠！ God damn it!
这是政府的事！ This is official government business!
离开这里，否则格杀勿论，我被授权行使武力！ Stand down, or I am authorized to use deadly force.
那东西抓走了我女儿！ That thing has my daughter!
这不是你的任务！ This isn't your mission!
这事上帝指派给我的任务！ I'm on a mission from God!
跟他汇报你失败了！ Tell him you failed.
妈的，有人来了！ Shit! We got company.
他想超上来！ He's trying to overtake us!
- 别让他上来！ - 我是不是应该撞他？ - Don't let him get past! - Should I ram him?
- 那押金怎么办？ - 去他娘的押金！ - What about the deposit? - Fuck the deposit.
你疯了！ You're crazy!
‎‎（莱特尔小溪，国家公园，限制停车）
操 Fuck.
操！来啊！ Oh, fuck! Come on!
笑一个，你个婊子养的！ Smile, you son of a bitch!
眼睛看前面，蠢货 Eyes forward, butthorn.
你说他没事吧？ Do you think he'll be okay?
是的，他没事的 Yeah, he'll be fine.
- 哈格德 - 佐伊尔 - Haggard. - Zoil.
还有两个呢？ Where are the other two?
一个撞了后烧了，还有个直接烧了 One crashed and burned, the otherjust burned.
上帝，破事真是一个接着一个 Jesus Christ! This has been one fuck-up after another.
我就应该亲自来干 I should have handled this myself.
我都快成功了 再给我一个小时 I am very close. You give me one hour.
一小时？ 一小时我已经在和州长吃鱼子酱了 An hour? I'll be eating canaps with the governor in an hour.
这事必须得马上了结！ I need this wrapped up now!
不 这是我的任务 ，我会把这事好好做个了结的！ No, no. They're mine, damn it. I'm gonna finish this, once and for all.
太晚了 佐伊尔 我会带着大家伙… Too late, Zoil. I'm bringing in the big guns.
和你谈话真无趣 Boring conversation anyway.
那么我的朋友 你神采奕奕 Fare thee well, my friend. You were a faithful and mighty steed.
我可不相信她的过去 I can't believe she's gone.
乳房下垂 Ain't that a bag of tits.
哦，现在我们怎么办 保罗？ Oh, what'll we do now, Paul?
保罗？ Paul?
保罗 你去哪里？ Paul, where are you going?
看到没？ 我跟你们怎么说来着，伙计们？ See? What did I tell you, fellas?
你看到就知道了。 You'd know it when you saw it.
当然了 Of course.
嗯，好了 放烟火 Right. Shoots flaming balls.
- 麻烦你们把这该死的玩意点上好吧？ - 他们可不是玩具 保罗 - Can you just light the fucking thing? - Fireworks are not toys, Paul.
- 上面说的安全距离是多少来着？ - 是啊 - What is the suggested safe distance? - Right.
- 500尺 - 那我们得躲到那棵树那边去 - 500 feet. - That's going to put us behind the tree line.
- 那就看不到整个效果咯 - 是啊 还真是这样 - We're not gonna enjoy the full effect. - That's true, actually.
现在你想跑吗？ Now you're running, huh?
这不好玩，这很危险 That's not funny. That's dangerous.
接下来呢？ What now?
等着吧 We wait.
是的 Yes.
- 太让人吃惊了 - 谢谢你 - That's amazing. - Thank you.
还不赖 Not bad.
现在你已经做了三次了 That's three times you've done that now.
我从没见过有人… I never met anyone...
哦，不是吧 Oh, no, you don't.
等下 Wait a minute.
给我原地呆着，你个绿色的小混蛋！ Stay where you are, you little green bastard!
大佬来了 It's the Big Guy.
啊，没想到吧？ Well, what do you know?
世界真小 Small world.
- 保罗！ 佐伊尔？ - Paul! - Zoil?
都他妈的别动！ Don't fucking move!
好了 大家冷静 所有人冷静 Okay, everyone be cool. Everyone just be cool.
不得不说我有点难过 特工佐伊尔 I gotta say, I'm a little hurt, Agent Zoil.
是他介绍我认识了我的妻子 他是我朋友 He introduced me to my wife. He's my friend.
你个婊子养的蠢货 再过15年你就会坐到我今天这个位置 You stupid son of a bitch. You could've been where I am in 15 years.
- 我可不想做你的位置 - 真可惜 - I don't want to be where you are. - Too bad,
看到我是如果掌控整个局面的 seeing as how I'm the one holding all the cards.
当我说“来牌”，我当然就是说 And when I say "cards," I of course mean
重型火炮 big fucking gun.
非常厉害 Very big gun.
- 走了 莫克 - 别叫我莫克 - Let's go, Mork. - Don't call me Mork.
- 不 - 伙计们你们没必要这么干 - No. - Guys, you don't have to do this.
不，他哪儿都不去 No, he's going nowhere.
闭嘴白痴 Can it, nerds.
该死，我应该现在就干掉你，但是我还没忘记 Shit, I'd shoot you now if I didn't get off on the idea
你一直在关塔那摩湾像猪一样被对待 of your being hog-tied and pissed on in Guantanamo Bay.
他们已经关闭了关塔那摩湾 They've shut Guantanamo Bay.
是吗？ Did they?
要对自己诚实 Be honest with yourselves.
你认为你能在游戏中把桌子弄到这个点上吗？ What do you think you can possibly bring to the table at this point in the game?
《铁鹰战士》（电影） Blind fury.
虚假经济，我跟你说过 False economy. I told you.
让开 基佬 Step aside, fag.
frappé Cette femme.
都疯了！ Insane!
- 露丝！ - 离他远点，你个贱人！ - Ruth! - Get away from her, you bitch!
佐伊尔 没事吧 伙计？ Zoil, you okay, man?
- 你计划还真周到，嗯？ - 知道啦 - So much for the plan, huh? - I know, right?
很抱歉在农场把你给弄晕了 Sorry I zapped you at the farmhouse.
没事 我倒是很抱歉 没能在及时赶到基地门口 That's okay. I'm sorry I wasn't there to meet you outside the base.
但看来你给自己弄了个备用方案，嗯？ …我到的时候你已经走了 By the time I got there, you'd already gone.
我有介绍 But I see you got yourself a plan B, huh?
我的朋友给你吗 Did I ever. These are my friends.
- 你好 - 很高兴见到你们 - Hello. - Pleasure to meet you boys.
- 你们干的真漂亮 - 谢谢 特工佐伊尔 - You did a hell of a job. - Thank you, Agent Zoil.
请叫我 洛伦佐 Please call me Lorenzo.
- 洛伦佐·佐伊尔？ - 洛伦佐·佐伊尔？ - Lorenzo Zoil? - Lorenzo Zoil?
是的 That's right.
露丝！ Ruth!
爸爸？ Papa?
- 保罗！ - 露丝！ - Paul! - Ruth!
差一点… That was close.
Oh 老天… Oh, my!
不！ No!
上帝，格雷姆… Oh, God, Graeme.
格雷姆！ Graeme!
- 我没有… - 把枪放下 巴格斯先生！ - I never meant to... - Put the gun down, Mr. Buggs.
你把该死的枪放下，爸爸！ Drop the fucking gun, Dad!
不！ Oh, no!
我真的喜欢这件衬衣 I really liked this T-shirt.
都是我的错 我们就不应该来度假 This is all my fault. We should never have come on holiday.
不不不 没事 没事的 克莱夫 No, no. It's fine. It's fine, Clive.
我们玩的很开心，不是吗？ We've had a good time, haven't we?
但 你中枪了 Yeah. But you got shot.
是 我知道 我老实说 克莱夫 Yeah, I know. But I can honestly say, Clive,
这是我这辈子最快乐的时光 this is the most fun I have ever had.
格雷姆？ Graeme?
我得要试一试了，是吧？ I've gotta try, right?
- 真的？ - 不 - Yeah? - No, no.
保罗 你考虑清楚 Paul, think about this.
保罗！ Paul!
保罗？ Paul?
哦，真痛 他又不能吃 Oh, that sucked. I don't even get to eat him.
你不是说那是超危险的吗？ Wasn't that really, really dangerous?
有时候… 你不能循规蹈矩 Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
奇迹啊！ It's a miracle!
是万能的主伸出了他的治愈之手… The Lord has delivered his healing hand!
真受不了这些人 You can't win with these people.
- 真抱歉你被我爸杀了 - 没事 - Sorry you got killed by my dad. - That's fine.
- 要再试试亲亲吗？ - 操 好的 - Do you want to try that kiss again? - Fuck, yeah.
那你知道什么？这呆子将会继承地球 Well, what do you know? The geek shall inherit the Earth.
哇这不是… Well, ain't this...
我收回我的话 她才是火爆的辣妞 I changed my mind. That is Jenga.
滋味不错哦 It feels better.
好吗？ Okay?
拍的不错 Oh, that's good.
- 你看起来不错 - 谢谢你 - This is a nice one of you. - Thank you.
巴格斯 先生？ Look, Mr. Buggs.
真是糟糕的旅行，嗯？ It's been a hell of a ride, huh?
很抱歉我把你给吓着了 Sorry I frightened the shit out of you.
你没有吓到我，你解放了我 You didn't frighten me. You freed me.
我很高兴 I'm glad.
Hmm，真好 Mmm. That's nice.
谢谢 Thanks.
Hey，照顾好他 大个子 Hey, take care of her, big man.
Oh，我会的先生 愿上帝与你同在 Oh, I will, sir. And God be with you.
呃，随便你说了 老兄 Yeah, whatever, dude. Sure.
帮我和卡伦道别 Say bye to Karen for me.
一路顺风 Safe trip, Short Round.
谢谢 Thanks.
- 你和我一起走 - 什么？ - Oh, you're coming with me. - What?
我毁了你的生活，塔拉 I ruined your life, Tara.
我想 唯一能补偿的 就是给你个新生活 I think it's only right I give you a new one.
但，我忘带牙刷了 I don't have my toothbrush.
宝贝，我们要去的地方…你连牙都不需要 Baby, where we're going, you don't need teeth.
那就对了，走 进去吧 美女 That's right. Right on. Get in there, girl.
对，他和我一起走，让她进去 Yeah, she's cool. She's with me. Let her in. Yeah. No.
先生们 Gentlemen.
我要问问 你觉得我书如何？ I meant to ask, what did you think of the book?
我知道，蛮好的，我说，我挺喜欢的， I liked it, actually. I really liked it.
里面有很多不错的创意 There's lot of good ideas in it.
老实讲 我发现有点比较难读完他 I kind of found it hard to finish, to be honest.
是啊 是的 我也是 Yeah. Yeah, me, too.
你知道如我经常说的 You know, as I always say,
如果你喜欢的话 回家路上带着他 "You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream. "
那是亚当·谢都切尔德说的 That's what Adam Shadowchild said.
那个混蛋！他从我这儿偷去的 That asshole! He stole that from me.
- 他是有点混蛋 - 不错，他是的 - He was a bit of an asshole, actually. - Yeah, he was.
- 留着它为你的回家旅途 如果你喜欢 - 是的，肯定啦 - Keep it for the journey home, if you like. - Oh, yeah. Definitely.
可以这么说，这次我们都学到了 It's safe to say we've all learned something from this.
像找回自我啦，解放自我啦，还有些其他乱七八糟的… Be yourselves. Speak from your heart. Some shit like that, I don't know.
是啊 我也觉得自己有点不一样了 Yeah, you know, I certainly feel a bit different.
我也是 And me.
谢谢你们 朋友 Thank you, guys.
- 不，谢谢你 - 是的，谢谢 保罗 - No, thank you. - Yeah, thanks, Paul.
拥抱？ Hugs?
来吧 Come on.
克莱夫，你勃起了 Clive, I can feel your boner.
下回见了 Till next time.
- 这好酷啊 - 太神奇了！ - So cool, isn't it? - It's amazing!
再见了！ Goodbye!
再见！ See you! Goodbye!
这船起飞的时候巨慢，有点尴尬了 This ship takes off very slowly. It's a little awkward.
再见！ Goodbye!
你能不能快点啊 快！ Can you guys take off any faster? Come on!
刚刚好厉害 是吧？ That was good, wasn't it?
- 莱亚斯！ - 谢谢 干杯 - Leias! - Thank you. Cheers.
抱歉，你哪位？ Sorry. Who are you?
爱你的那个 Someone who loves you.
我以为你会弄成神奇女侠模样过来 I thought you were coming as Wonder Woman today.
好了，请大家欢迎 All right, would you please welcome
星云奖年度最畅销作品的创作团队 the team behind this year's multi-Nebulon-award-winning best seller.
顺便一提，他们是我的朋友 By the way, these are friends of mine.
- 我真为你骄傲 格雷姆 - 我也为你骄傲 肥肠 - I'm very proud of you, Graeme. - I'm very proud of you, Sausage.
加油 Come on.
帕特 史蒂文斯？就是第一章里的那个帕特 史蒂文斯？ Pat Stevens? Like, Pat Stevens from Chapter 1?
就是那个 The very same.
我以为你还要高一点 You know, I always pictured you taller.
- 我站起来的时候你会看到的 - 我还真想看看 - You should see me standing up. - Oh, I'd like that.
我没想到你还是这么漂亮 I didn't realize you were so damn pretty.
我穿成这样你还能看的出来 You should see me out of these crazy clothes.
那还行啊 I'd like that.
我可受不了 I can't.
我明吧，很显然他们表彰我因为… I understand, apparently, they are citing me as the...
我操 你… Well, fuck. You know...
请大家欢迎他们上台 克莱夫·戈灵和格雷姆·威廉 Please welcome to the stage, Clive Gollings and Graeme Willy.
鼓掌欢迎 Give it up.
三，二，一 Three, two, one.
热烈祝贺 Congratulations.
- 热烈祝贺 - 谢谢 - Congratulations. - Thank you.
格雷姆！克莱夫！ Graeme! Clive!
我认识他们两个！ I know those guys!